Reader Views

She Doesn’t Look Deaf

Ms. Cheatham has written a very powerful book on living with a deaf daughter when services aren’t available, the struggles the family went through to help their daughter and apathy of many of those in the helping field.

A prior military soldier, Ms. Cheatham gives birth to her daughter on May 21st. Aaliyah was born premature by c-section and transferred to another hospital for critical care. After much separation anxiety, little Aaliyah was able to go home with her family. At the time Louisiana was one of many states that required hearing tests for newborns. In her first test, Aaliyah scored extreme hearing loss. As all parents do when told their child has issues, the parents decided to test their daughter at home- same results.

"She Doesn’t Look Deaf" goes into detail about how the parents had to self-educate themselves on resources available for them through the military and specialty doctors. The Army has a program, the Exceptional Family Member Program, which is to assist soldiers with special needs family members with services to include schools, housing and transfers. Having been the Director of the Exceptional Family Member Program for 15 years, it is not a perfect program. There is so much paperwork and frustration on getting services in a timely manner and soldiers are still deployable worldwide. Although the military paid for tests and hearing aids, the struggle seemed to continue to get their daughter the services she needed, like sign language and cued speech. I believe if it weren’t for the fact that the parents were so assertive in their search, Aaliyah would have not received the specific services she needed.

From a psychologist’s point of view, this book should be on the bookshelves of all practitioners, school personnel and parents of any child who has special needs. Ms. Cheatham stresses throughout the book that parents are the best advocates for their child. It is very important for parents to be knowledgeable about services available that not only include school resources and medical care, but they need to know the law and what has to be offered.

In "She Doesn’t Look Deaf," author Corinne Cheatham provides many resources to help parents who have the same concerns regarding their child. If the parents don’t act on behalf of their child- who will?

She Doesn’t Look Deaf
Corinne Cheatham
Llumina Press (2008)
ISBN 9781595260321
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer, PhD, for Reader Views (10/08)

A is for Atticus: Baby Names from Great Books

Not just another baby name book. "A is for Atticus" delves into the books we all love and pulls out the characters we hold dear to our heart. Whether you prefer classic, common, or names seldom heard, you are given the names and the information needed to provide your child a perfect name with meaning.

Many of the names that were popular years ago are coming back into vogue in some form. Yes, naming your daughter Dorothy screams you love "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" but sounds a bit "grandma." Why not try the updated Doro or even Dottie. Everything and anything goes.

With four daughters it was very hard to come up with unique meaningful names that were not overused. I admit I did spend many nights going through books on the shelf looking for just the right one – I knew it was between the pages of a book I had read. A collaboration of all these names would have been a great resource.

In reading "A is for Atticus" by Lorilee Craker I found several books I wish to read, ones I had long forgotten but will find again, and a wonderful addition to the parent-to-be library.

A is for Atticus: Baby Names from Great Books
Lorilee Craker
Center Street (2008)
ISBN 9781599950204
Reviewed by Danelle Drake for Reader Views (9/08)

The Resilient Child: Seven Essential Lessons for your Child’s Happiness and Success

I want my children to grow up to be the best adults they can be in every way. But I had not thought very much about the importance of being resilient. The author makes sure we know what he means from the very beginning of the book. "Resiliency is the acquired immunity against disabling stress." My mama-radar went up at the mention of "disabling stress." Stress is everywhere and we all have to learn to deal with it in a positive way or it will get the better of us.

Dr. Everly cites seven lessons that we should teach our children to make this happen in today’s world: develop strong relationships, learn to make difficult decisions, take responsibility, stay healthy, think positive, have a faith and have integrity. He reveals that he began this book as a way of addressing his desire to be a better parent. We learn of his own story as he lays the foundation for the wisdom he imparts. As I read through each chapter, there were no new revelations or secrets to discover. Only reminders of what I already knew in my heart, but didn’t always remember to share with my children. Parenting is a full-time job, not limited to keeping them fed and clothed. He puts it in perspective by citing his premise: "How can I best prepare my kids for a world that does not love them as much as I do?"

Everly speaks of inner strength that must be taught so that children can make their way through our sometimes scary world. His goal is for our children to not need their parents or anyone else in stressful situations. They should be able to take responsibility for their own actions. Both parents and all adults involved in raising a child should read this and discuss it before attempting to implement it. The success rate will go way up if there is a common understanding and goal.

The author gives plenty of examples of why the seven lessons are important and what happens when children do not learn them. He even includes some "homework" you can complete as you read along. I love that he doesn’t leave good health out of the equation. And as a writer, I appreciate the encouragement for children to keep a journal which can reduce stress as they write through situations. Faith is also addressed. "With faith, there are no mysteries, only answers yet to be revealed." Amen.

Honestly, most of what the author shares in "The Resilient Child" is advice we’ve heard before. But this time it is in a concise package ready to read and implement, which is the only way improvement will ever happen. And let’s face it, we only have so many years to make a positive impact on our children and then they are in the world of their peers, subject to all that they have to offer, both good and bad.

The Resilient Child
George S. Everly, Jr., PhD, with Sloane Brown
DiaMedica Publishing (2008)
ISBN 9780979356452
Reviewed by Tammy Petty Conrad for Reader Views (9/08)

101 Quick-Thinking Games for Children (SmartFun Activity Books)

Are you an elementary school teacher who is looking for something to keep your students inspired? Perhaps you are a parent of a child who others refer to as a "number guru." You want to take the next step into keeping that child, or a group of children, motivated to keep sharpening their memory and numerical abilities. Have no fear; there is a book that will help you along.

Allison Bartl has been in those shoes. She is an experienced school teacher and very talented author; she has created books with you in mind. Each of her books is organized in a way where you can choose between the games by number of students or kids you have. The games themselves range from very easy to more difficult. These games will captivate children to age 10.

"101 Quick-Thinking Games for Children" is not just fun and games alone. This makes learning fun along the way. The second part of the book offers many riddles and other fun things to keep your audience entertained. This is a 5-star book for anyone who wants to make thinking fun and is eager to learn more concepts. I hope Allison Bartl writes more terrific books like this one. You will wonder why you didn't think of picking this book up before!

101 Quick-Thinking Games for Children (SmartFun Activity Books)
Allison Bartl
Hunter House (2007)
ISBN 9780897934978
Reviewed by Lori Plach for Reader Views (9/08)

Wit’s End: Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen

Newborn children do not come with a guide, sure wish they did. We place the precious cargo into the car-seat, take it home, and do the best we can. Regardless of family background, household demographic or income, there is nobody who lives the perfect life. Although we all want the best for our children, and do what we can, sometimes things don’t go as planned. If our children become out-of-control, use drugs or drink alcohol, participate in sexual acts, or become violent, we don’t always know how to react. We try what we can, but sometimes we find ourselves at wit’s end, submerged in guilt and angry at both our child and ourselves.

If you are a parent with an out-of-control child seeking alternatives and information, "Wit’s End" can be your light at the end of the tunnel. Step-by-step information will help you choose the right program for your child’s needs, ways to seek financial assistance, and information about Parents’ Universal Resources Experts (P.U.R.E.) that will help you gain the tools you need to make the decisions you are faced with.

I do admit that I was skeptical when I first began reading the book. How could someone just send their child away when they really needed you? When your child was away, troubled, are you sure they are getting the care they need? After reading the challenges and brutally honest account of Sue and more-importantly, her daughter Ashlyn, you realize what courage and strength it takes for a parent to make the decision that could change their child’s life forever. Because of Sue’s lack of knowledge at the time she was going through this terror with her child, she did not always know where to turn and her child suffered because of it. We learn from the decisions she made. Ashlyn is an amazing young person that understands her mother did not intentionally place her in a situation where she, as well as her mother, would loose control. They both weathered the storm and came away wishing to fight for each young person that could ever face the same situation and guide them to a better resolution.

"Wit’s End" by Sue Scheff is both informative and enlightening. Regardless of the situation, something good can come of it.

Wit’s End
Sue Scheff
HCI (2008)
ISBN 9780757306976
Reviewed by Danelle Drake for Reader Views (9/08)

404 Deskside Activities for Energetic Kids

As a new Kindergarten teacher, this book will stay on my desk and the activities in it will be included in all my lesson plans. Written to use with preschool children to third graders, the author encourages caregivers to use movement, but movement with a purpose. Not just for teachers, anyone exposed to children who can’t sit still and focus for periods of time needs to read this book. The author has a background as a teacher and trainer of dancers and athletes. Unfortunately she passed away last year, but I am thrilled that she left behind this valuable tool.

The first thing I learned was that when I have my kids stretch in the classroom without a specific purpose in mind, I can be setting the scene for kids who can’t calm down -- which is the opposite of what I would expect! Now I know that doing balance exercises are more appropriate for getting a class to calm down and concentrate.

Before we see instructions for each activity, Davis takes the time to explain why they are important. I could see this text being read in a college education class, because she reminds us of the value of movement in all areas of development for children. She has loads of activities that can be used with different subjects as an effective supplement to curriculum. I love that there are activities to support math and science, like making human links to show numbers and addition or subtraction answers.

Davis stresses the importance of movement for other reasons, such as encouraging creativity. Her list of self-esteem exercises is wonderful. Who ever heard of foot applause? But I can’t wait to use it in my classroom come September. She includes three teaching styles that we can use to implement movement more effectively based on our preferences. The activities are divided into five categories and each category is subdivided making it especially easy to find the perfect activity for your needs, and that of your children. Information is also included like the appropriate age, size of group or space and other details that can be useful in planning. Scripts are included as needed and an occasional picture is added for clarity.

This is the type of book you can use in a variety of ways. New teachers will want to read it cover to cover and one more time. More experienced educators will go to the comprehensive list of games and pick the appropriate one for the day’s lesson. Parents might just look for the fun ones and see what happens. There are even imagination exercises. Can you envision the fun the kids will have cleaning the classroom with imaginary tools?

Don’t delay in picking up this useful book, “404 Deskside Activities for Energetic Kids” by Barbara Davis, and start reading it now. It’s never too late to learn some new tricks!

404 Deskside Activities for Energetic Kids
Barbara Davis, MS, MFA
Hunter House (2008)
ISBN 9780897934671
Reviewed by Tammy Petty Conrad for Reader Views (7/08)

Barbara & Susan’s Guide to the Empty Nest

I haven’t yet begun to worry about my future empty nest, but I already feel better knowing I can turn to this book and its two authors when the need arises. These two women earnestly share their personal experiences and those of women they’ve encountered to help us all. The idea of “losing” our children to the world and being the mother bird left behind with an empty nest hits women in many different ways. Since our experiences are all slightly different there is no one way to make everything better. Rainey and Yates describe this “…like Jell-O, hard to grab hold of and constantly changing shape.” But they have many suggestions to help us survive this life transition as painlessly as possible.

Since my own nest is still full I had not begun to think of the many issues the book details. But reading this makes me aware of the importance of preparing in advance so it won’t be such a negative time. The authors acknowledge that it seems to hit women harder, but that men also have issues with this time and we should talk about it and help each other as much as possible. Marriages should still remain a priority.

They also introduce the “Season Principle” reminding readers that this is only another season of our life. Nothing stays the same forever as we travel through different seasons, or phases, of our life. Each has their own challenges and rewards. There is a lot of discussion about how women wrap their lives around their children making it an overwhelming change when they are no longer there. I was surprised that women who work outside the home fulltime found it just as hard to make the transition. I also appreciated how the authors addressed all the different kinds of empty nests and how they might affect our responses.

These women have a strong spiritual background and encourage women to turn to God during this time, just as we would during other stressful situations. They also support having a strong network of women friends who have been through similar experiences and can offer support and comfort during this time.

This is one of those books you can read straight through or you can use it as a workbook and answer the questions found at the end of the chapters to allow you to contemplate further. There are also recommendations of other books that readers may find useful. I love that this is very well-rounded and brings up issues from many different angles. Just a side note, it is a pretty book. I found the brown and blue color combination and the font choice very soothing.

I am glad I got a head start on being prepared for this transition during my own life. With my children six-and-a-half years apart and different sexes, I realize now that I will probably go through it twice and in very different ways. With “Barbara & Susan’s Guide to the Empty Nest” on my bookshelf I don’t need to fear the future.

Barbara & Susan’s Guide to the Empty Nest
Barbara Rainey & Susan Yates
Family Life Publishing (2008)
ISBN 9781602000605
Reviewed by Tammy Petty Conrad for Reader Views (7/08)

For Parents Only: Getting Inside the Head of Your Kid

“Happy the generation where the great listen to the small, for it follows that in such a generation the small will listen to the great.”
- An Ancient Hebrew Proverb

Authors Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa Rice take a unique approach in “For Parents Only” by going straight to the subject matter experts on the minds of teens – teens!   Combining results from their nationwide survey with their own real-life experiences they manage to bring the data to life in a way that can be almost revolutionary for some parents – not because of any earth-shattering finds; it is the subtle ah-ha moments that strike the reader. 

“For Parents Only” provides some strong, solid messages for deciphering what your teen is thinking versus what logic might dictate your teen might be thinking.  Above all, however, the underlying message is to listen to your kids, try to understand what lies below their message, and understand they appreciate your boundaries no matter how often they test them.

I like to think of “For Parents Only” as a field guide to the teenage years…one I will continue to reference again and again; sometimes for advice but mostly to remind myself to listen, to pay attention, and above all to ensure they feel the love and support they need to get through these confusing and often heartbreaking years.

For Parents Only
Shaunti Feldhahn & Lisa A. Rice
Multnomah Books (2007)
ISBN 9781590529324
Reviewed by Regan Windsor for Reader Views (6/08)

The Clear and Simple Workbooks: Pre-K Practice

The Clear and Simple Workbooks: Pre-K Practice” is full of innovative ways to teach preschoolers early learning concepts such as shapes, colors, same and different, patterns, numbers, categories, opposites and sounds.  In addition to the workbook activities, there are also Home Activity suggestions in each section describing suggestions for interactive learning.  An example of this for teaching same and different is to show two fruits, asking the child how these two are same and how they are different.

Using activities that incorporate coloring, circling, tracing, and drawing learning easily takes on an element of fun, especially through the incorporation of bright, colorful pictures and consistency.  The inclusion of the characters P, B, and J makes this series of workbooks familiar to early learners.

Also included in the “Pre-K Practice” workbook are sets of flash cards for playing a variety of interactive learning games and a large poster for coloring.  This variety of learning activities extends the attention of new learners who enjoy constantly changing activities.

Carter is quickly discovering the joy of “workbooks,” and really enjoys the variety of activities in “The Clear and Simple Workbooks: Pre-K Practice..  With the complexity of the activities increasing as we make our way through the book he is able to complete all the activities appropriate to his developmental level while saving some activities to do as he continues to develop.  The interactive activity suggestion help gauge where he is at developmentally and provide opportunities for introducing new concepts without being overwhelming.

“The Clear and Simple Workbooks: Pre-K Practice” is a wonderful way to spend quality time with your child, sharing in their excitement as they successfully complete activities and increase their understanding.  It is a proud and exciting experience to watch your child learn and grow in amazing ways.  This workbook is highly recommended and we look forward to new additions to this series. 

The Clear and Simple Workbooks: Pre-K Practice
Nancy Jolson Leber
Grosset & Dunlap (2007)
ISBN 9780448444345
Reviewed by Regan Windsor for Reader Views (5/08)

Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents

Although Ms. Bottke’s theme for this book is not a new one, it is refreshing to see that she has given parents of adult children six steps on how to set boundaries.

Through the use of her own personal examples with her adult son, and examples from other parents Ms. Bottke is able to show us that through gentle mistakes we made while raising our children, we can set boundaries in their adulthood.

As a parent who has had recently two adult children move back home, I can honestly say I was ready to tear my hair out. Not that we don’t love our children or want to help them in any way, we must learn not to enable them and have them make us their slave.

This reader found the 6 Steps to Sanity to be very helpful. The steps were something you could put use to right away. Most books of this nature tell you what you should and shouldn’t do, but I always felt I was being blamed for bad parenting. I was especially impressed with learning to let your children go and identifying my own negative behavior. I was truly amazed at all I have done and still do to enable my children not to own up to their own responsibilities.

Every parent should read “Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children” and keep it within easy access. Each time one reads part of the book it helps them to take control of their life again and not feel we “owe” our children everything.

Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents
Allison Bottke
Harvest House Publishers (2008)
ISBN 9780736921350
Reviewed by Dr. Carol Hoyer for Reader Views (4/08)