Reader Views

The Approximate Parent: Discovering the Strategies That Work with Your Teenager

Article first published as Book Review: The Approximate Parent: Discovering the Strategies That Work with Your Teenager by Michael Y. Simon on Blogcritics.
 
I must admit that I picked “The Approximate Parent” by Michael Y. Simon because although we are close, I was struggling to understand and communicate with my teen daughter, and hoped for some quick strategies. This is not what I found. Instead I found a wealth of information to enrich my knowledge on teenagers’ development process, which in turn helped me understand my daughter, and thus discover what could help us communicate.
 
“The Approximate Parent” begins with biological, psychological information about teenagers’ development, and differences between puberty and adolescence. I found this part a little intimidating at the beginning but I encourage readers to press through it as I found it very useful in the understanding of not just the coming chapters of the book, but also with understanding some of my teen’s behavior.
 
After this first part, the tone of the book is less technical. Simon did a wonderful job combining the factual information of his remarkable research with his own conversational voice directed to the parents, which allowed me to relate, relax and take in the information.

Each Chapter handles a different Issue. It begins with understanding your teen, their identity and relationships, and teens and sex, which are the timeless teen issues. But it goes further as Simon continues with issues like parenting through the digital era, and teenagers’ mental health. Each chapter ends with a “Practical Help” section that readers can refer to quickly.
 
Simon took me from understanding that many of the responses from teens are not only normal, but they are to be expected, as they are part of their development. He destroyed my argument of “I was more mature at your age,” as he explained the fact that as humans we react to experiences in a very unique way because our genes and our experiences while growing up, do affect the way we develop. His chapter “Parenting in the Digital Age” is one of my favorites because as I read it I realized just how different teen’s brains work in contrast with how teens’ brains worked during the 70s, or 80s. Thanks to this Chapter, it finally clicked in my head how different my development was in comparison to my daughter’s generation. Finally, towards the end of the book in chapter 10, I got my revelation when I read “the story about a boy who did not swim from the dock to the draft as his mother tried to manipulate him to do so.” This story made me reflect about my own teen years, and compare them to my daughter’s to realize that it was the same situation, only now I was the Mom.
 
“The Approximate Parent” by Michael Y. Simon is a must read for all parents. However, it isn’t a quick read. It is an insightful guide, a tool that can make a difference in your parenting style to get results. A definite 5 star read in my book.


The Approximate Parent: Discovering the Strategies That Work with Your Teenager
Michael Y. Simon
Fine Optics Press (2012)
ISBN 9780985227692
Reviewed by Susan Violante for Reader Views (1/13)

Changing Places: Making a Success of Succession Planning for Entrepreneurs and Family Business Owners

Article first published as Book Review: Changing Places: Making a Success of Succession Planning for Entrepreneurs and Family Business Owners by David Franzetta and Moss A. Jackson, PhD on Blogcritics.
 
Small business owners:  think you are going to live forever?  Then why are you running your operation that way?  Without deliberate planning, most businesses fail when it comes time to hand the reigns over to someone else.  Instead of leaving this transition to chance, do what you can to protect that thriving business which you’ve worked hard to build from the ground up.  But where do you start?  What’s known to work and just as importantly, what doesn’t work and should be avoided?  “Changing Places: Making a Success of Succession Planning for Entrepreneurs and Family Business Owners” is the perfect starting point for succession planning.  Authors David Franzetta and Moss A. Jackson, PhD, offer introductory information to get the process underway and off on the right foot.
 
While the short book doesn’t contain 100% of the steps needed, it provides a wealth of easy-to-understand points which are meant to spring the reader into action.  A quick down and dirty on the subject, it is meant to give a firm foundation to build upon so readers can explore their options with confidence.  The book utilizes some real world examples to help clarify potential issues, such as family dynamics and changeovers versus buyouts.  Further, the ‘Key Questions to Ask Yourself’ sections at the end of each chapter greatly assist the reader in putting their own situation into the forefront and applying the text appropriately.
 
“Changing Places: Making a Success of Succession Planning for Entrepreneurs and Family Business Owners” by David Franzetta and Moss A. Jackson, PhD, is a must read for any small business or entrepreneur who doesn’t already have a set and detailed succession plan already in place.  While the items may, in fact, be used by large businesses, the text and all included examples are written specifically from the small business perspective.  The book is organized into manageable sections, each building on the last and flowing to the next section seamlessly and with purpose.  The editing is first rate; I only found one small spelling error.  This gives the book a polished, professional, and authoritative feel.  All in all, an excellent and easy way to start the process of effective operations handover and ultimately, fostering business success from generation to generation.


Changing Places: Making a Success of Succession Planning for Entrepreneurs and Family Business Owners
David Franzetta and Moss A. Jackson, PhD
AuthorHouse (2012)
ISBN 9781477266939
Reviewed by Vicki Liston for Reader Views (1/13)

At the Farmers’ Market with Kids: Recipes and Projects for Little Hands

Article first published as Book Review: At the Farmers†Market with Kids: Recipes and Projects for Little Hands by Leslie Jonath & Ethel Brennan on Blogcritics.
 
“At the Farmers’ Market with Kids” by Leslie Jonath and Ethel Brennan is intended to encourage parents to teach their children the value of eating foods produced by local farmers, not only for the quality but sustainability of them.  It also encourages parents to teach children to cook with foods grown by the farmers in a gentle and fun way. Each recipe gives a “Kids Can” tip, e.g., “rise and peel the cucumbers, remove grapes from stems, grease the pan.”

For the purpose of the review we are asked to test three recipes.  The first recipe I tested was “Chilled Cucumber and Dill Soup.”  After a 5-hour chill, the soup was served.  It is creamy and delicious.  Depending on the child’s age, many of the procedures can be done by the child.
 
The second recipe I tested was “Strawberry Freezer Jam.”  Easy to make - just crush the strawberries, add the sugar and pectin, and stir well.  Ladle into sterilized jars, freeze, and there you have it - strawberry jam.  The jam is very tasty and easy to make. 

The third recipe I made was “Chocolate-Beet Cupcakes.”  No, this isn't an error - beets in cupcakes are for real and it one sure way to have your child become friends with beets.  After cooking the beets, they are grated and added to the regular cupcake mixture.  I found the cupcakes deliciously moist.
 
There are many other recipes I’ll be making from this cookbook.  The recipes are sectioned off by seasons making it convenient to find the recipe using the produce of the particular season.  As for the other ingredients, because of the simplicity of the recipes, they can found in any pantry and definitely in a local grocery story.
 
I encourage parents to teach their children about clean foods and buying from local farmers.  Teaching and cooking with them will give appreciation of the quality of the foods, a better taste, GMO-free, and most of all supporting local farm families and preservation of agricultural landscape.  One way to do this is use “At the Farmers' Market with Kids” by Leslie Jonath and Ethel Brennan as an educational tool. Recommended!


At the Farmers’ Market with Kids: Recipes and Projects for Little Hands
Leslie Jonath & Ethel Brennan
Chronicle Books (2012)
ISBN 9780811875028
Reviewed by Irene Watson for Reader Views (4/12)

Glue His Butt to the Chair!

Many parents dread homework time as much as their children do. It often results in nagging, fighting, and general chaos in the home. “Glue His Butt to the Chair!” offers good advice for getting homework done while maintaining peace. The book employs the concept of “What's the Rule?” to create a structured environment in which homework will be done. This rule specifically states when, where, and for how long a child will do his homework. For example, Joey will do his homework from 5:00 PM to 5:40 PM at the dining room table. The authors propose ten minutes per grade level is appropriate. Going beyond this time limit, they suggest, will upset the balance between doing homework and having fun.
The authors insist upon making homework the child’s responsibility. The parents are not to do the work for them. Nor are they to teach or coach them on the subject matter. They should not review or correct their assignments.
This book is written by a pediatric psychologist, a licensed social worker, and a mom. They each provide unique perspectives towards the topic of homework. In addition, they offer insight into detecting learning disabilities and the processes of how to address the school to make sure the child’s needs are met. While I respect the opinions of the authors, I did take issue with two concepts. Regarding not correcting the child’s work, if they are doing it incorrectly maybe they do not understand the material. It would be better to fix the problem before the test. Also the authors state that if the homework is not completed in the appropriate time, they should not finish it. It seems they are learning that they won’t be held accountable for not finishing assigned tasks.
“Glue His Butt to the Chair!” by Rebecca Jackson, Dr. Robert Pressman and Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman is written for parents to help them get their children to do their homework at a designated time and place. It provides structure for the entire family. By making it a rule, the child and parent know what is expected of them. This system will be beneficial for many families and will help decrease the stress levels of parents and children alike.  The companion book is “Matilda & Maxwell Freaky Homework Fiasco.” It is written from the perspective of middle school students and offers their thoughts on homework.


Glue His Butt to the Chair
Rebecca Jackson, Dr. Robert Pressman and Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman
Good Parent Good Child (2011)
ISBN 9780983218326
Reviewed by Leslie Granier for Reader Views (4/12)

He’s Not the Right One… Divorce & Dating Thereafter

Article first published as Book Review: He'sNot the Right One... Divorce & Dating Thereafter by Rosario Bacon Billingsley on Blogcritics.

Divorce is a daunting process that may feel completely and utterly frightening for the unprepared. The same can be said for trying to jump back into the dating scene. Author Rosario Bacon Billingsley has these answers and much more in her book, “He’s Not the Right One…Divorce & Dating Thereafter.” With a background and working experience in both mental health and the legal professions, she provides guidance from more than just one aspect of divorce. The result is a perfectly balanced book which contains not only the legal expectations and realities of the process but the psychological toll it takes on a person’s mental well-being.

In order to make her advice personal and applicable, Rosario Bacon Billingsley organizes her book in a series of stories. This way, her readers can follow specific examples and see the how’s and why’s of each particular subject. For example, her first story discusses a husband’s refusal to accept that a divorce was happening to him as well as the requirement to pay support. He stands firm in his beliefs that he owes nothing but the reader will soon see him in contempt, having to serve jail time, and even losing his business license. Some of the stories center on the wife, while others on the husband; some tell the process from the prospective of the jilted and others from the bored or the philanderer. Essentially, all sides are represented and her clients are not always the ‘innocent’ party. I thought using the stories in the way the author did truly brought her advice to life. They weren’t just bland legal or dating suggestions; they became people with real heartache, real pain, and circumstances that readers could identify with.

The author’s tone throughout the book has quite a zing and it initially threw me because I wasn’t expecting it. You can obviously tell which behaviors – and characters - set well with her and which didn’t. She has nicknames for opposing counsel, the presiding judges, and the other party in the divorce such as Mr. Flamboyant, Mr. Stoneface, Judge Contemptible, Judge Power Play, Mr. Casanova, and Ms. Know-It-All. You can call the author edgy, sarcastic, jaded, funny, or realistic but I absolutely loved her. And as a very recent divorcee and dater, I could completely identify with so much of her information.

“He’s Not the Right One… Divorce & Dating Thereafter” contains only a small handful of editing oversights and does date itself with some of the language used. For example, Rosario Bacon Billingsley uses ‘1990s’ quite often in the text. At the time of publication – 1996 - that would have made perfect sense. However for long term use and potential application by future readers, it places the book in that decade and in that decade only. I would hate for a reader to stop reading the book upon reaching a ‘woman of the 90s’ reference and think, ‘Yikes, I don’t want to be that!’. I think with some minor modifications (i.e., use ‘modern woman’ or ‘dating in today’s world’ and completely take out ‘automatic teller card’ references…I literally laughed out loud at that reference!), it would give a more timeless quality to the book. Other than those small issues, I think Rosario Bacon Billingsley gives fantastic advice, an empathetic voice, and a sharp smack of reality to those going through the divorce process.


He’s Not the Right One… Divorce & Dating Thereafter
Rosario Bacon Billingsley
Fell Street Press (1996)
ISBN 9780965336109
Reviewed by Vicki Liston for Reader Views (1/12)

Why Won’t You Talk To Me?: Selected Stores

Article first published as Book Review: Why Won't You Talk To Me?: Selected Stores by Richard Duggin on Blogcritics.

Author Richard Duggin’s newest book, “Why Won’t You Talk To Me?,” is an assemblage of short stories that collectively explores every emotional aspect of the institution of broken relationships, failed marriages, and endings and new beginnings. Each story underscores that before, amidst and following the demise of a marriage, most of us are simply not capable of honest, open introspection and communication.

The characters in “Why Won’t You Talk To Me?” are active participants in the “would have-should have-could have game” and they all are inclined to over-intellectualize their marital miscues. Duggin imbues his cast with an engaging genuineness and believability. Their lives and their reflections are highly relatable. As a result, the reader establishes tight connections with the characters and a bond, based on a true concern for them, which makes their stories especially engaging.

Richard Duggin is an adept storyteller who has honed the craft of writing introspection. The reader is apt to perceive that they are truly inside the mind of the characters (and their own mind perhaps). And they are likely to feel that they have experienced in their own lives the stories to which they most strongly relate. For me the, the book kept my head nodding in either agreement or revelation and my hand eager to turn the next page.

One such story and cast of characters which strongly elicited this response from me was titled “A Certain Knowledge.” In this amusing account of what initially appears to be the mundane story of “Dad picks up kids from ex on his weekend,” Duggin manages to render a meticulously detailed and mesmerizing portrait of the complex dynamics between the ex-husband, ex-wife, their kids, and the new boyfriend and potential step-father. This story clearly established for me that the author does indeed have certain knowledge with regard to what he is writing about.

The stories in ““Why Won’t You Talk To Me?” do not suggest, as did Ralph Waldo Emerson, that “Tomorrow is another day…begin it with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” That noble act must come from within the reader. But Richard Duggin has certainly written a most thoughtful and thought-provoking book that will challenge you to reconsider the blunders and absurdities of your failed affairs of the heart. If that is your aim, then I suggest you take a deep breath and have fun reading “Why Won’t You Talk To Me?”


Why Won’t You Talk To Me?: Selected Stores
Richard Duggin
Outskirts Press (2011)
ISBN 9781432779061
Reviewed by Joseph Yurt for Reader Views (2/12)

Unthinkable: Tips for Surviving a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury

Article first published as Book Review: Unthinkable: Tips for Surviving a Child's Traumatic Brain Injury by Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie on Blogcritics.

Following her own child’s harrowing traumatic brain injury Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie wrote a highly acclaimed book which emotionally and passionately documented her nightmarish journey as mother and caregiver. In that book, “Unthinkable: A Mother’s Tragedy, Terror and Triumph Through a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury,” published in 2010, each chapter, written with deep emotion, is concluded with tips for coping and participating throughout the process. It was these rational tips that offset the unbridled emotion in that first book.

In the Introduction of her new, follow-up book, “Unthinkable: Tips for Surviving a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury,” the author has excerpted these tips to create a concise yet thorough caregiver’s companion. Coskie’s priceless experience make this book a valuable resource for dealing with an unthinkable, life-changing event for which none of us is ever prepared.

Coskie presents her tips in ten sections. The first group of tips addresses the steps and components of preparedness. The advice offered in this section is not unlike that which is generally recommended for any medical emergency. But, the reader is cautioned not to assume that brain trauma events are like other medical events. Section 2, “Traumatic Event,” will abruptly and jarringly dismantle that false assumption. And from that point forward, the reader will be riveted by information that might make some readers simply give up and set the book aside.

But read on we must if we, our child and our other family members are to have any chance at all of surviving one of the most horrific and unthinkable occurrences that can befall us. Not only should primary and secondary caregivers and other family members read this book, so should doctors and medical services providers involved in the process.

Each section of tips following Section 1 in “Unthinkable: Tips for Surviving a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury” continually startled me with relentless “slaps in the face” of reality. But I feel blessed for having had the opportunity to read the book and I am grateful that Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie had the strength and passion to share her experience and lessons learned. Otherwise, who would have known?


Unthinkable: Tips for Surviving a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury
Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie
Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing (2011)
ISBN 9781936214419
Reviewed by Joseph Yurt for Reader Views (11/11)

Blacklisted from the PTA

Let’s face it- most women want to be the perfect mom, have perfect kids and no stress. Unfortunately, for many of us in the real world, this is just a far, far away dream. We have kids!

In several stories, the author has been able to capture those wonderful moments when, as a parent, you want to run away or stand up to those so-called perfect moms who give you the “evil eye.”  For those of us like Ms. Davidson, we dance to a different drummer. When we think things are going well, a crisis jumps up and bites us and then we are on a downward spiral.

I could honestly feel like Ms. Davidson lived in my house when my kids were growing up and now I watch my granddaughter follow the same pattern. She is funny, honest, and inspirational. Her insight and thoughts are so well tuned.

Many of us didn’t grow up with the technology that kids have today and the author tells how she would never give in to that for her kids- guess what?  Readers will laugh, cry and say “Oh, that’s not me.” Right!

“Blacklisted from the PTA” is a great lighthearted book to read and reminisce about different times and just trying to be the best parent you can. I’m still looking for the award for “Mother of the Year,” are you?


Blacklisted from the PTA
Lela Davison
Jupiter Press (2011)
ISBN 9781936214433
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer, PhD, for Reader Views (9/11)

When All That’s Left of Me Is Love: A Daughter’s Story of Letting Go

There are books that one reads for the pleasure of enjoying a truly beautiful written piece. There are those one reads for the plot. Or the ones read when we need a solution to a particular problem, or help with something that bothers us deeply. Those boundaries are rarely crossed, and I can not recall too many beautifully written self-help books about any subject, and even less so about something as deeply moving as the story Linda Campanella wrote in this incredibly touching tribute to her mother.

“When All That’s Left of Me Is Love”, subtitled “A Daughter’s Story of letting Go,” tells us about the last year that Ms. Campanella spent with her mother before losing her to terminal cancer. While death is always such a scary thought, and the death of a parent something I am reluctant to even think of, Ms. Campanella managed a remarkable feat of balancing her grief with the joy of having had that one precious last year to spend with her mother.

The story within “When All That’s Left of Me Is Love” made me think about a lot of things, and realize how blessed I am to still have my mother in my life. It made me reflect on all that we do or omit to do in relationships that we hold dear, it made me re-evaluate my priorities and rethink my views on death and dying. Most importantly it made me realize that there is a dignified way of dealing with grief while still enjoying every precious moment we might be given with somebody loved by us. As Ms. Campanella said, “There was more living to do.”

“When All That’s Left of Me Is Love” is a wonderful memorial to a wonderful mother, but also a testament of how wonderful mothers help shape wonderful daughters and wonderful families, for I am certain that without that priceless influence Ms. Campanella, her siblings, and her father would not have been able to cope with the situation half as well as they did. While this book is poignant in its pain and heart wrenching in many of its parts, it is first and foremost a celebration of an unending love between a daughter and her mother as well as a life lived well.

It matters little whether you are facing a similar situation as the one the author faced, or if you are simply looking for some solace at a later date, this is one book that you would want to have at hand when the need arises. Sentimental, but not soppy, sad, yet incredibly filled with joy, and above all filled with dignity and strength, “When All That’s Left of Me Is Love” is an unforgettable book.


When All That’s Left of Me Is Love: A Daughter’s Story of Letting Go
Linda Campanella
Tate Publishing (2011)
ISBN 9781617774171
Reviewed by Olivera Baumgartner-Jackson for Reader Views (10/11)

Father Deficiency: 29 Things Every Person Needs To Know Who Was Reared Without A GOOD Father

Article first published as Book Review: Father Deficiency: 29 Things Every Person Needs To Know Who Was Reared Without A Good Father by Frank H. Stewart on Blogcritics.

In his new book, “Father Deficiency,” author Frank Stewart explores the impact of fatherless households on children, their families and society. The book focuses on the concept of Father Deficiency (FD), which Stewart defines as “...when one lacks the necessary things they needed to receive from their father...FD goes beyond just being fatherless but also includes fathers who were present yet absent.” Thus, the children still did not get what they needed. It is within this framework that the author sets forth his thoughts and opinions on the importance to those who have experienced FD of acknowledging how it affected their childhood and how it is affecting their life now, as well as the lives of those around them, especially their loved ones. Stewart contends that FD is not an excuse or a cop out and he offers ways to cope with the condition.

“Father Deficiency” is firmly rooted in the author’s own journey through life without a father. His father’s accidental death occurred while he was still in his mother’s womb. Over the course of twenty-nine engaging, conversational chapters, Stewart shares the story of his fatherlessness from pain, denial, confusion, anger and finally breaking away from the negative impact of FD. At the outset of his account Stewart paints a powerful picture of the costs involved in FD. He relies heavily on statistics from the 2008 report of the National Fatherhood Initiative. The organization’s Hundred Billion Dollar Man is the personification of the annual cost to society of this run away problem which the author claims to be “the greatest plague to ever hit this country.” Coupled with compelling and sometimes startling statistics from the U.S. Department of Justice, Stewart compels the reader to begin the journey with him in earnest.
         

What follows is a universal story of a family without a father figure that many of us may think we have some understanding of even if we are not fatherless or don’t know anyone who is (an increasingly unlikely possibility.) But what the reader will methodically learn is that they really have little, if any understanding of what is a much more destructive and complex problem than we could have ever imagined. Given that complexity, “Father Deficiency” is a commendable effort to sort out the varied aspects of the problem and present them in a relatable way to readers unfamiliar with FD. And for those readers who have experienced FD, Stewart offers up candid observations and shares his own excitement about his reclamation and self-discovery. It is important to note that while neither the front cover nor back cover feature it, this book is of the Christian genre. Given the fact that Stewart leaned heavily on a renewed faith in and commitment to Christianity during his acknowledgement and acceptance phases of self-denial, it is a relevant aspect of the story. For me, however, the extensive inclusion of biblical quotes and passages became a distraction. Stewart’s own voice was clear and strong so I ultimately found this to be only a minor issue.

At the end of the book, in what is referred to as the Author Biography but which I found to be more of an Afterword, Frank Stewart proclaims that he believes his purpose in living is to bring awareness to the plague of FD. In “Father Deficiency” his passion for this pursuit is apparent. He contends that this is a book for everyone, not just teachers and those who work with youth. And upon reflection, I would agree with him.

Father Deficiency: 29 Things Every Person Needs To Know Who Was Reared Without A GOOD Father
Frank H. Stewart
AuthorHouse (2011)
ISBN 9781456763510
Reviewed by Joseph Yurt for Reader Views (12/11)