Reader Views

Why Won’t You Talk To Me?: Selected Stores

Article first published as Book Review: Why Won't You Talk To Me?: Selected Stores by Richard Duggin on Blogcritics.

Author Richard Duggin’s newest book, “Why Won’t You Talk To Me?,” is an assemblage of short stories that collectively explores every emotional aspect of the institution of broken relationships, failed marriages, and endings and new beginnings. Each story underscores that before, amidst and following the demise of a marriage, most of us are simply not capable of honest, open introspection and communication.

The characters in “Why Won’t You Talk To Me?” are active participants in the “would have-should have-could have game” and they all are inclined to over-intellectualize their marital miscues. Duggin imbues his cast with an engaging genuineness and believability. Their lives and their reflections are highly relatable. As a result, the reader establishes tight connections with the characters and a bond, based on a true concern for them, which makes their stories especially engaging.

Richard Duggin is an adept storyteller who has honed the craft of writing introspection. The reader is apt to perceive that they are truly inside the mind of the characters (and their own mind perhaps). And they are likely to feel that they have experienced in their own lives the stories to which they most strongly relate. For me the, the book kept my head nodding in either agreement or revelation and my hand eager to turn the next page.

One such story and cast of characters which strongly elicited this response from me was titled “A Certain Knowledge.” In this amusing account of what initially appears to be the mundane story of “Dad picks up kids from ex on his weekend,” Duggin manages to render a meticulously detailed and mesmerizing portrait of the complex dynamics between the ex-husband, ex-wife, their kids, and the new boyfriend and potential step-father. This story clearly established for me that the author does indeed have certain knowledge with regard to what he is writing about.

The stories in ““Why Won’t You Talk To Me?” do not suggest, as did Ralph Waldo Emerson, that “Tomorrow is another day…begin it with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” That noble act must come from within the reader. But Richard Duggin has certainly written a most thoughtful and thought-provoking book that will challenge you to reconsider the blunders and absurdities of your failed affairs of the heart. If that is your aim, then I suggest you take a deep breath and have fun reading “Why Won’t You Talk To Me?”


Why Won’t You Talk To Me?: Selected Stores
Richard Duggin
Outskirts Press (2011)
ISBN 9781432779061
Reviewed by Joseph Yurt for Reader Views (2/12)

Unthinkable: Tips for Surviving a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury

Article first published as Book Review: Unthinkable: Tips for Surviving a Child's Traumatic Brain Injury by Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie on Blogcritics.

Following her own child’s harrowing traumatic brain injury Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie wrote a highly acclaimed book which emotionally and passionately documented her nightmarish journey as mother and caregiver. In that book, “Unthinkable: A Mother’s Tragedy, Terror and Triumph Through a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury,” published in 2010, each chapter, written with deep emotion, is concluded with tips for coping and participating throughout the process. It was these rational tips that offset the unbridled emotion in that first book.

In the Introduction of her new, follow-up book, “Unthinkable: Tips for Surviving a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury,” the author has excerpted these tips to create a concise yet thorough caregiver’s companion. Coskie’s priceless experience make this book a valuable resource for dealing with an unthinkable, life-changing event for which none of us is ever prepared.

Coskie presents her tips in ten sections. The first group of tips addresses the steps and components of preparedness. The advice offered in this section is not unlike that which is generally recommended for any medical emergency. But, the reader is cautioned not to assume that brain trauma events are like other medical events. Section 2, “Traumatic Event,” will abruptly and jarringly dismantle that false assumption. And from that point forward, the reader will be riveted by information that might make some readers simply give up and set the book aside.

But read on we must if we, our child and our other family members are to have any chance at all of surviving one of the most horrific and unthinkable occurrences that can befall us. Not only should primary and secondary caregivers and other family members read this book, so should doctors and medical services providers involved in the process.

Each section of tips following Section 1 in “Unthinkable: Tips for Surviving a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury” continually startled me with relentless “slaps in the face” of reality. But I feel blessed for having had the opportunity to read the book and I am grateful that Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie had the strength and passion to share her experience and lessons learned. Otherwise, who would have known?


Unthinkable: Tips for Surviving a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury
Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie
Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing (2011)
ISBN 9781936214419
Reviewed by Joseph Yurt for Reader Views (11/11)

Blacklisted from the PTA

Let’s face it- most women want to be the perfect mom, have perfect kids and no stress. Unfortunately, for many of us in the real world, this is just a far, far away dream. We have kids!

In several stories, the author has been able to capture those wonderful moments when, as a parent, you want to run away or stand up to those so-called perfect moms who give you the “evil eye.”  For those of us like Ms. Davidson, we dance to a different drummer. When we think things are going well, a crisis jumps up and bites us and then we are on a downward spiral.

I could honestly feel like Ms. Davidson lived in my house when my kids were growing up and now I watch my granddaughter follow the same pattern. She is funny, honest, and inspirational. Her insight and thoughts are so well tuned.

Many of us didn’t grow up with the technology that kids have today and the author tells how she would never give in to that for her kids- guess what?  Readers will laugh, cry and say “Oh, that’s not me.” Right!

“Blacklisted from the PTA” is a great lighthearted book to read and reminisce about different times and just trying to be the best parent you can. I’m still looking for the award for “Mother of the Year,” are you?


Blacklisted from the PTA
Lela Davison
Jupiter Press (2011)
ISBN 9781936214433
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer, PhD, for Reader Views (9/11)

When All That’s Left of Me Is Love: A Daughter’s Story of Letting Go

There are books that one reads for the pleasure of enjoying a truly beautiful written piece. There are those one reads for the plot. Or the ones read when we need a solution to a particular problem, or help with something that bothers us deeply. Those boundaries are rarely crossed, and I can not recall too many beautifully written self-help books about any subject, and even less so about something as deeply moving as the story Linda Campanella wrote in this incredibly touching tribute to her mother.

“When All That’s Left of Me Is Love”, subtitled “A Daughter’s Story of letting Go,” tells us about the last year that Ms. Campanella spent with her mother before losing her to terminal cancer. While death is always such a scary thought, and the death of a parent something I am reluctant to even think of, Ms. Campanella managed a remarkable feat of balancing her grief with the joy of having had that one precious last year to spend with her mother.

The story within “When All That’s Left of Me Is Love” made me think about a lot of things, and realize how blessed I am to still have my mother in my life. It made me reflect on all that we do or omit to do in relationships that we hold dear, it made me re-evaluate my priorities and rethink my views on death and dying. Most importantly it made me realize that there is a dignified way of dealing with grief while still enjoying every precious moment we might be given with somebody loved by us. As Ms. Campanella said, “There was more living to do.”

“When All That’s Left of Me Is Love” is a wonderful memorial to a wonderful mother, but also a testament of how wonderful mothers help shape wonderful daughters and wonderful families, for I am certain that without that priceless influence Ms. Campanella, her siblings, and her father would not have been able to cope with the situation half as well as they did. While this book is poignant in its pain and heart wrenching in many of its parts, it is first and foremost a celebration of an unending love between a daughter and her mother as well as a life lived well.

It matters little whether you are facing a similar situation as the one the author faced, or if you are simply looking for some solace at a later date, this is one book that you would want to have at hand when the need arises. Sentimental, but not soppy, sad, yet incredibly filled with joy, and above all filled with dignity and strength, “When All That’s Left of Me Is Love” is an unforgettable book.


When All That’s Left of Me Is Love: A Daughter’s Story of Letting Go
Linda Campanella
Tate Publishing (2011)
ISBN 9781617774171
Reviewed by Olivera Baumgartner-Jackson for Reader Views (10/11)

Father Deficiency: 29 Things Every Person Needs To Know Who Was Reared Without A GOOD Father

Article first published as Book Review: Father Deficiency: 29 Things Every Person Needs To Know Who Was Reared Without A Good Father by Frank H. Stewart on Blogcritics.

In his new book, “Father Deficiency,” author Frank Stewart explores the impact of fatherless households on children, their families and society. The book focuses on the concept of Father Deficiency (FD), which Stewart defines as “...when one lacks the necessary things they needed to receive from their father...FD goes beyond just being fatherless but also includes fathers who were present yet absent.” Thus, the children still did not get what they needed. It is within this framework that the author sets forth his thoughts and opinions on the importance to those who have experienced FD of acknowledging how it affected their childhood and how it is affecting their life now, as well as the lives of those around them, especially their loved ones. Stewart contends that FD is not an excuse or a cop out and he offers ways to cope with the condition.

“Father Deficiency” is firmly rooted in the author’s own journey through life without a father. His father’s accidental death occurred while he was still in his mother’s womb. Over the course of twenty-nine engaging, conversational chapters, Stewart shares the story of his fatherlessness from pain, denial, confusion, anger and finally breaking away from the negative impact of FD. At the outset of his account Stewart paints a powerful picture of the costs involved in FD. He relies heavily on statistics from the 2008 report of the National Fatherhood Initiative. The organization’s Hundred Billion Dollar Man is the personification of the annual cost to society of this run away problem which the author claims to be “the greatest plague to ever hit this country.” Coupled with compelling and sometimes startling statistics from the U.S. Department of Justice, Stewart compels the reader to begin the journey with him in earnest.
         

What follows is a universal story of a family without a father figure that many of us may think we have some understanding of even if we are not fatherless or don’t know anyone who is (an increasingly unlikely possibility.) But what the reader will methodically learn is that they really have little, if any understanding of what is a much more destructive and complex problem than we could have ever imagined. Given that complexity, “Father Deficiency” is a commendable effort to sort out the varied aspects of the problem and present them in a relatable way to readers unfamiliar with FD. And for those readers who have experienced FD, Stewart offers up candid observations and shares his own excitement about his reclamation and self-discovery. It is important to note that while neither the front cover nor back cover feature it, this book is of the Christian genre. Given the fact that Stewart leaned heavily on a renewed faith in and commitment to Christianity during his acknowledgement and acceptance phases of self-denial, it is a relevant aspect of the story. For me, however, the extensive inclusion of biblical quotes and passages became a distraction. Stewart’s own voice was clear and strong so I ultimately found this to be only a minor issue.

At the end of the book, in what is referred to as the Author Biography but which I found to be more of an Afterword, Frank Stewart proclaims that he believes his purpose in living is to bring awareness to the plague of FD. In “Father Deficiency” his passion for this pursuit is apparent. He contends that this is a book for everyone, not just teachers and those who work with youth. And upon reflection, I would agree with him.

Father Deficiency: 29 Things Every Person Needs To Know Who Was Reared Without A GOOD Father
Frank H. Stewart
AuthorHouse (2011)
ISBN 9781456763510
Reviewed by Joseph Yurt for Reader Views (12/11)

Staying Alive: A Love Story

Article first published as Book Review: Staying Alive: A Love Story by Laura B. Hayden on Blogcritics.

While any loss of somebody dear to us is a horrible thing to endure, there are some that are simply even more difficult than the others.  Losing a spouse is certainly right there at the top, particularly when the loss is sudden and at an early age. And that is precisely what happened to Laura B. Hayden, who found herself a widow even before she turned fifty. Not only did she have to raise two children alone now, but she soon faced a battle with cancer herself. Yet throughout all of that she did not lose the faith, nor focus.

There was one small paragraph towards the beginning of the book that really struck a chord with me. In it, the author stated, “I have come to realize I took my 20 years together with Larry for granted. Larry didn’t.” What a powerful statement, and one that really made me stop and think about my own personal relationships and how I deal with them. I will certainly try to do my best from now on not to take anything for granted ever again.

“Staying Alive: A Love Story” truly is a love story on many levels. It is undoubtedly a story of Ms. Hayden’s love for her husband, but also for her children, and for life in general. Throughout the book the reader learns about Ms. Hayden’s childhood and adolescence, and then her adult life, including her professional and personal growth. We follow her spiritual evolvement - and involvement, we see her learn and struggle and doubt and grow and stumble, but never really fall. Her memoir is a powerful mixture of emotions and tales of incredible resilience, and while it gets terribly sad at times, it never descends into whimpering or self-pity. She finds support and courage in many things, as well as many people, and she is lucky to recognize what really matters. She reminds us of the things we all know, but oftentimes forget or overlook -           what really matters, or better yet, who really matters.

Ms. Hayden’s writing is beautiful, and she truly connected with me as a reader. She made me think again and again, and that is something that I really cherish in a writer. I would highly recommend this book to all those who have suffered a loss of a loved one, as well as anybody who just needs reminder of how amazingly resilient we human beings can be, and how with enough resolve we actually manage to overcome even the biggest obstacles. As “Staying Alive” will remind us, we do that and more, and if we are as strong as Ms. Hayden, we can actually do it with great grace.

Staying Alive: A Love Story
Laura B. Hayden
Signalman Publishing (2011)
ISBN 9781935991182
Reviewed by Olivera Baumgartner-Jackson for Reader Views (12/11)

Unthinkable: Tips for Surviving a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury

Article first published as Book Review: Unthinkable: Tips for Surviving a Child's Traumatic Brain Injury by Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie on Blogcritics.

Following her own child’s harrowing traumatic brain injury Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie wrote a highly acclaimed book which emotionally and passionately documented her nightmarish journey as mother and caregiver. In that book, “Unthinkable: A Mother’s Tragedy, Terror and Triumph Through a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury,” published in 2010, each chapter, written with deep emotion, is concluded with tips for coping and participating throughout the process. It was these rational tips that offset the unbridled emotion in that first book.

In the Introduction of her new, follow-up book, “Unthinkable: Tips for Surviving a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury,” the author has excerpted these tips to create a concise yet thorough caregiver’s companion. Coskie’s priceless experience make this book a valuable resource for dealing with an unthinkable, life-changing event for which none of us is ever prepared.

Coskie presents her tips in ten sections. The first group of tips addresses the steps and components of preparedness. The advice offered in this section is not unlike that which is generally recommended for any medical emergency. But, the reader is cautioned not to assume that brain trauma events are like other medical events. Section 2, “Traumatic Event,” will abruptly and jarringly dismantle that false assumption. And from that point forward, the reader will be riveted by information that might make some readers simply give up and set the book aside.

But read on we must if we, our child and our other family members are to have any chance at all of surviving one of the most horrific and unthinkable occurrences that can befall us. Not only should primary and secondary caregivers and other family members read this book, so should doctors and medical services providers involved in the process.

Each section of tips following Section 1 in “Unthinkable: Tips for Surviving a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury” continually startled me with relentless “slaps in the face” of reality. But I feel blessed for having had the opportunity to read the book and I am grateful that Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie had the strength and passion to share her experience and lessons learned. Otherwise, who would have known?

Unthinkable: Tips for Surviving a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury
Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie
Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing (2011)
ISBN 9781936214419
Reviewed by Joseph Yurt for Reader Views (11/11)

The Pregnancy Power Workbook: The 200+ most important questions to ask about your pregnancy

Pregnancy can be daunting and downright scary on top of being an exciting time in a woman’s life.  Authors Camilla Bicknell and James S. Betoni hope to take a little of the intimidating parts out of this live-changing event with their book, “The Pregnancy Power Workbook: The 200+ most important questions to ask about your pregnancy.”  By compiling this information in a workbook format, they hope to create an atmosphere of empowerment and strength so that their readers will feel much more confident about their journey into motherhood.

“The Pregnancy Power Workbook” begins by flooding the reader with the over 200 questions promised in the subtitle.  These questions are organized in chapters by timeframe:  ‘The Weeks and Months Before Conception,’ ‘Weeks 1 to 4,’ ‘Weeks 5 to 8,’etc, etc.  Each question is notated in a box which provides ample room for the reader to jot down notes or answers.  However, it’s not until after chapter 12 that readers get even an inkling of actual information out of the book.  Starting on page 87, the authors begin by tackling all of chapter one’s questions (chapter one began on page one).  I found this to be extremely frustrating as I found myself having to regularly flip between over 80 pages in the book to get from where I was reading to where I needed to write answers.  Further, I would have had to keep two different places marked in the book if I were to put it down and come back to it later.  This frustration could easily be overcome organizing the book differently - put chapter one questions with the chapter one text.  Additionally, I think inundating the reader with over 200 questions at the very beginning and before supplying the valuable information needed to answer those questions, overwhelms and confuses.  Breaking down appropriate questions and text into manageable blocks would much better serve someone who’s hoping to truly use this as a workbook throughout her pregnancy.  

While the organization lacked, the editing and content excelled in “The Pregnancy Power Workbook.”  I found some of the information to be what I might consider ‘obvious’ or ‘common sense’ items (i.e., the section ‘will mind altering substances affect my baby and my pregnancy?’) but I also view this as a responsible inclusion..

The Pregnancy Power Workbook: The 200+ most important questions to ask about your pregnancy
Camilla Bicknell, RNC, WHNP and James S. Betoni, DO
Power Health Press (2011)
ISBN 9780578079561
Reviewed by Vicki Liston for Reader Views (11/11)

Unthinkable: A Mother’s Tragedy, Terror, and Triumph through a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury

Article first published as Book Reivew: Unthinkable: A Mother's Tragedy, Terror, and Triumph Through A Child's Traumatic Brain Injury by Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie on Blogcritics.

It’s every mother’s nightmare – getting the phone call to inform you that your child’s been hurt.  Author Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie was lost in the minutia of everyday life when her phone rang but her life was thrown into chaos the moment she lifted it off its receiver.  Her son’s story begins in the pages of “Unthinkable: A Mother’s Tragedy, Terror, and Triumph through a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury” and it follows the unbearable events through his fight for survival.

In 2001 and shortly before the atrocities of 9/11, Coskie’s son, Paul, was involved in his own crisis - an SUV collided with him as he biked on a local street.  Without the protection of a helmet, Paul suffered severe injuries to his brain.  Coskie’s story takes the reader from the scene of the accident, through a helicopter evacuation, the arrival at the emergency room and last rites from the hospital’s priest, and hookups to a life support system.  Over the course of a year, this determined family sees their broken member slowly come out of his coma, relearn to talk, walk, and eventually function again.  Paul makes the transition back to school and even actively advocates for helmet use.

“Unthinkable” is told from Coskie’s perspective and utilizes both her narrative of the ordeal as it unfolds as well as a journal written for Paul during the time the accident occurred.  Heart-wrenching and vividly detailed, she writes with emotional clarity and truly paints the picture for her readers to follow…so much so that I was crying by page four.  I regularly had to put the book down in order to wipe away tears.  But the book isn’t all sad.  Readers get to witness Paul’s rebirth into normalcy and a family completely changed with newfound appreciation for the little triumphs of life.  I celebrated Paul’s determination and cheered for his accomplishments.  Further, Coskie takes her life lessons from each stage of this process and offers her readers tips on what to do if a brain injury happens to someone they love.  This advice can serve as a companion guide to lessen the feeling of helplessness in a situation.

“Unthinkable” is so much more than a firsthand account of personal tragedy.  Coskie’s eloquent style puts you in the middle of the situation while the sheer amount of intensity that she conveys is absolutely exhausting.  Those looking for an emotional and heartfelt account of a mother’s strength will love her story while those going through similar circumstances will find a gentle and sympathetic friend.  Absolutely powerful.

Unthinkable: A Mother’s Tragedy, Terror, and Triumph through a Child’s Traumatic Brain Injury
Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie
Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing (2010)
ISBN 9781932279375
Reviewed by Vicki Liston for Reader Views (11/11)

Fighting CPS: Guilty Until Proven Innocent of Child Protective Services Charges

The back cover notes of “Fighting CPS” by Deborah K. Frontiera state that the book “chronicles thirteen months of agony and frustration suffered by the innocent Bonilla and Frontiera families as a result of Children’s Protective Services removal of young James Bonilla from his parents.” But the significance of the story this book tells reverberates far beyond the Child Protective Services Division of the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services on which the book focuses. This book is relevant for all fifty states with similar agencies charged with responsibility for investigating reports of abuse and neglect of children.

Few Americans take exception to the mission of child protective services and their primary goal of protecting children. But a mounting body of evidence, like that presented in “Fighting CPS,” has made it clear that an alarming number of state agencies and family court systems are broken. This reality has resulted in a growing grassroots movement demanding change and reform in numerous states. Based on Frontiera’s book, it’s hard to imagine a state in greater disrepair than Texas!

On the other hand, once the reader uncoils from their own initial reaction of disbelief, made possible by the detailed documentation drawn from the author’s own copious journal notes, no imagination is required to comprehend the ordeal of young James Bonilla, his parents Rufina and Julio and grandparents  Deborah and Jasper Frontiera. I wonder, however, if those individuals from Texas CPS who were involved with this case understand, or even care, about the ramifications of their ineptitude.  I was not, in the case of James Bonilla. Many reform advocates believe that the investigative component of the process would best be executed by trained law enforcement agencies. And, to make a difficult process even more daunting, the Bonilla case was handed off to thirteen different case workers over thirteen months. Nearly all of them failed to even find time to read the case file.

In “Fighting CPS,” Deborah Frontiera shares her story in an honest, open and endearing manner.  I felt her agony and frustrations and sometimes intense anger throughout the book. I was eager to keep reading so that I could celebrate the victory that I wished for this family to achieve. While Frontiera follows-up on her own story with ten other case studies in answerer to the question of whether or not her case was typical, it is her own story that undoubtedly will compel others to engage with this issue or become involved with a movement. At least that was the case for me. Before penning my final draft of this review, I began researching the current condition of CPS in my own county and state. I hope the author will tell James and his parents that the sharing of his story has already had an impact on someone who read the book.

Fighting CPS: Guilty Until Proven Innocent of Child Protective Services Charges
Deborah K. Frontiera
Bluebonnets, Boots and Books (2011)
ISBN 9780980006162
Reviewed by Joseph Yurt for Reader Views (8/11)