Reader Views

REPAIR for Kids

“REPAIR for Kids” presents a six-step program for children who are recovering from incest and sexual abuse.  It is geared for kids that are in the 6 to 12 year-old age range.  REPAIR stands for Recognition, Entry, Process, Awareness, Insight, and Rhythm.  I first learned about REPAIR when I read “REPAIR for Adults.”  In “REPAIR for Kids,” the material is presented with colorful illustrations in a manner which is easier for children to read.  It contains exercises that allow children to write about their emotions.  There is also a list of instructions for adults at the beginning of the book and a helpful suggested book list at the end.  

McKinnon is perfectly able to describe the feelings that sexually-abused children experience.  For example she describes shame as “that hot rush to our body that makes us feel bad.”  She knows what the child is experiencing.  This in turn helps the child realize that they are not alone and that there are others that have gone through this experience and will be able to relate to them.  This book brought tears to my eyes, because I found myself wishing that I had access to it as a child

A powerful message runs through the book. This message tells children that what happened was not okay, and it was not their fault.  It is so important that children realize this.  They also learn how to identify their emotions, set boundaries and most importantly to say “NO!”   By addressing these things now, it will help prevent the child from being abused again by someone else.  The exercises and readings will empower them to have a role in their own recovery.  This empowerment is critical because the abuse has made them feel helpless.  Empowering them now will help them heal so that hopefully they will avoid getting involved with abusers, drugs and promiscuity when they are older. 

“REPAIR for Kids” by Marjorie McKinnon is a really important resource for children who have been abused.  I wish that a copy could be found in every classroom so that abused children could have immediate access to the information.  This might be the very tool they need to show them how to get the abuse to stop.  This is particularly critical for these children because they might be more inclined to report abuse if they are taught that it isn’t their fault.  If you are helping a child who has been abused, you should not hesitate in purchasing this book. 

REPAIR for Kids
Marjorie McKinnon
Loving Healing Press (2008)
ISBN 9781932690576
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (7/08)

Law of Attraction Handbook

An old concept recently revived by creators of “The Secret” encourages people to start believing they can manifest and create whatever they desire in their lives.  Al-Maimani’s handbook is supplemental to many of the books in the market proponing the same ideas. His concise, easy-to-read handbook skips over long drawn-out explanations and gets right to the point.

One of the primary beliefs within the Law of Attraction is put into words by Al-Maimani “…what you put out into the universe comes back to you – whether wanted or unwanted.”  Using personal experiences Al-Maimani explains how the Law worked in his life.  He also references specific books and teachers that encourage the same belief.

“Law of Attraction Handbook” offers three simple exercises with a basic step one: Declare Your Desires.  Personally, I believe a large amount of people find this the most difficult and often can’t focus on what their actual desires are.  This is because we are expected to know what we want.  Al-Maimani encourages us to write what we don’t want first. He emphasizes, by writing what we don’t want first clears the way for what we do want. Once this list is made, Al-Maimani gives steps two and three in a simple manner.  Believing you can manifest the true desires makes steps two and three an easy way for the desires to come to fruition.

Al-Maimani questions the readers, which allows them to look within themselves to find the answers.  One of the questions is ‘So what is going on in your subconscious mind?” He then briefly explains to find out what is going on in our subconscious mind is to check the emotions and feelings that are going on at that time. This is a very hands-on, experiential book.

Furthermore, what makes this book appealing are the Twenty-One Day Exercises in the back of the book.  I haven’t completed them because of the timely submission of this review; however, I know this system works.  I look forward to continuing the exercises.

“Law of Attraction Handbook” by Aiman A. Al-Maimani offers sound steps on achieving desires and goals, as well as guidelines on developing a successful, fulfilled life with steps that actually do work, if you work them and believe.

Law of Attraction Handbook
Aiman A. Al-Maimani
iUniverse (2008)
ISBN 9780595429745
Reviewed by Irene Watson for Reader Views (7/08)

The Sitting Swing: Finding the Wisdom to Know the Difference

Childhood trauma. Honesty about one’s personal faults. A dramatic recovery program. These elements all add up to make Irene Watson’s “The Sitting Swing: Finding the Wisdom to Know the Difference” an eventful, meaningful, and poignant tale of one woman’s struggle to overcome her repressive family background, the anger that arises from her treatment in childhood, and her own deepest inner faults, so she can become whole, successful, positive, and ultimately a resource of help to others.

The story begins when the author, Irene Watson, attends Avalon, a recovery center. As a practicing therapist, Irene goes to Avalon to learn more about addictions and codependency. She wants to help her clients, but she has no idea how the experience will help her personally. When she arrives at the center, she soon realizes she will be spied upon by cameras, the counselors are aggressive and in her face, and she has issues she did not want to admit before. This unexpected situation causes her to question why she has come at all. The narrative then flashes back to Irene’s memories of her childhood to explain what ultimately brought her to Avalon.

Irene begins telling her story by detailing her family background. Her parents and grandparents were Ukrainian immigrants to early nineteenth-century Canada. Their culture and language make Irene isolated when she begins to attend an English-speaking school. She tries to melt into the crowd by befriending the other children, but her family continually stands in her way when she tries to have a “normal” childhood.

Irene’s biggest struggle is with her over-protective and irrational mother. Irene’s brother, Alexander, died before she was born. The loss of this child and her mother’s sense of guilt over his death cause Irene to live a protected life. The memoir’s title refers to the swing Irene could barely move because of the rose bushes surrounding it. This forced confinement is a metaphor for her life with a mother who denies her playing with other children or even allowing her to be herself.

As Irene reaches her teenage years, the narrative becomes quite frightening since the very real possibility exists that Irene could have become a juvenile delinquent, and some of the angry actions she contemplates taking toward the narrow-minded people of her town could have had irrecoverable consequences. Fortunately, Irene had one friend, Margie, to confide in and who helps her see the irrationality of some of her proposed actions. I found this section painfully honest because it suggests how badly children need attention and role models and the consequences to a society that mistreats its children. Eventually, Irene finds the strength to stand up to her mother when she falls in love and gets married. However, even when she has moved out of her parents’ house, the trauma of her childhood continues to haunt her.

Irene’s experiences at the Avalon Center are told with equal frankness. She finds herself forced to confront her deepest shortcomings, realize she must forgive her mother, and take responsibility for herself, rather than blaming her past. She also finds the courage to make changes to her marriage. The final chapter of the book is not a warm and fuzzy conclusion but rather a very honest and realistic summary of how she has grown from the frightened and repressed little girl she was into a mature woman.

“The Sitting Swing” is an inspiring story. Readers will empathize with Irene, and they will be motivated to begin their own spiritual journeys of recovery. While the path is not easy, Irene is proof that serenity is achievable. More than anything, readers will be impressed with Irene Watson’s honest voice and her straightforward colloquial writing style that makes us realize we are a lot like her, and consequently, if she could recover from her past, then anything is possible for us as well.

This revised edition of “The Sitting Swing” also includes a new afterword and appendices to provide additional resources for people seeking to recover. Anyone, whether a recovering addict or co-dependent, or victim of abuse, will find strength in this narrative. “The Sitting Swing: Finding the Wisdom to Know the Difference” is highly recommended!

The Sitting Swing
Irene Watson
Loving Healing Press (2008)
ISBN 9781932690675
Reviewed by Tyler R. Tichelaar for Reader Views (8/08)

The Strength Within: 7 Steps to Overcoming Life’s Obstacles with Inspirational Therapy

Dr. Frank Maurio’s book “The Strength Within” is both a warm and a slightly harsh book. The warmth comes from the personal experiences from the author’s youth and his compassion for the patients he counsels. The harshness – if one even would want to call it that – is the result of knowledge and certainty that we bring so much of our misfortunes upon ourselves simply because we lack enough self-esteem to ask and receive what we need and want in life.

In the book, the author shares his own struggles with weight and low self-esteem early in life, and tells us how he managed to overcome them. It is clear that those early challenges shaped Dr. Maurio’s character and probably made him even more responsive to the plight of others in similar situations. His proposed solution is called Inspirational Therapy, and it consists of seven steps. When followed appropriately, it promises to rid us the lack of self-esteem and give us freedom to accomplish what we desire.

Guiding the reader through the well-designed and easy-to-understand steps with the help of real-life stories and simple exercises, Dr. Frank Maurio helps the reader to build up his or her self-esteem to a level where the previously impossible goals become reachable and attainable. Several of the exercises, most notably the habit of keeping a journal and learning to meditate and relax, should prove to be helpful even to those who do not suffer from lack of self-esteem, but would simply like to get to know themselves better in order to achieve their dreams and goals faster and with less trouble.

Warm and upbeat, but never condescending or simplistic, this is a great self-help book for anybody who is willing to reach deep inside to bring out his or her full potential and live life to the max. “The Strength Within: 7 Steps to Overcoming Life’s Obstacles with Inspirational Therapy” by Dr. Frank Maurio would be a handy reference to keep on your desk or nightstand, since I sincerely believe it can make your life much easier by showing you how to let go of fear and reach for the stars.

The Strength Within
Dr. Frank Maurio
Estate Press (2007)
ISBN 9780979859601
Reviewed by Olivera Baumgartner-Jackson for Reader Views (8/08) 

How Bad Do You Really Want It?: Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be

Tom Massey has written a very smart and practical book on how to get what you want out of life. He points out that two different people can be given the same opportunity, but only one will succeed.

One of the best tips he gives is that in order for people to be successful they must have desire and persistence. Success doesn’t drop out of the sky--we have to want it and design a plan for how to accomplish it. Sometimes we have good intentions but then we lose our desire to reach our goals because it is hard work. At the end of each chapter, Mr. Massey gives take away tips and suggestions for the reader to answer. He also gives a story of how people he has known have become successful.

“How Bad Do You Really Want It?” was very easy reading; there are tips and suggestions we all know, but we haven’t put into place 100%.

How Bad Do You Really Want It?
Tom Massey
Robert D. Reed Publishers (2008)
ISBN 9781934759035
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer for Reader Views (7/08)

30 Days to a New You: Get What You Want Through Authentic Change

Written by a life and business coach, “30 Days to a New You” offers ways to help individuals make changes in their lives through the use of positive thinking.� The reader is taught how to achieve the ‘Big’ picture (his wants and desires) through the use of the ‘Small’ picture (goals to be met in order to achieve the ‘Big’ picture).� The author stresses the importance of taking small steps to reach one’s dreams while constantly reevaluating along the way.� It is important to celebrate the successes, but not to punish oneself over the failure to complete a goal.� Instead, reassessment of the goal or the methods utilized in the attempt to achieve it should be done.

Each chapter contains exercises that challenge the reader to think about how his everyday life, his work life, and relationships will change as he makes changes in himself.� Many of the exercises build upon what was learned in earlier chapters, so it is important not to skip around in an effort to finish faster.

Magnetti makes many excellent suggestions on how to change one’s life, but two points really stood out for me.� First, you are responsible for your own happiness.� Only you can change what you don’t like, so do not be misled in thinking if other people change you will be happier.� The second point deals with the language we use.� The small change�from saying “I need to” or “I should” to “I want to” reminds you that you are in control and increases your motivation to achieve.

“30 Days to a New You” by Monica Magnetti is an excellent resource for anyone interested in making changes in his life.� The exercises force the reader to be honest with him or herself and to take charge of their own life by recognizing that they alone are responsible for how their life unfolds.� Discussing one’s desires and goals in small groups would be beneficial as each member could provide support for the others and share their experiences through the process of making life changes.� The author’s positive attitude and excellent motivational skills will inspire even those most fearful of making important changes for their futures.

30 Days to a New You
Monica Magnetti
Robert D. Reed Publishers (2008)
ISBN 9781934759073
Reviewed by Leslie Granier for Reader Views (7/08)

If Your Hair Falls Out, Keep Dancing!

Losing one’s hair is probably high on the “disaster” list for most people, and I would imagine even higher for women than for men. That is why I found it so surprising – in the best possible way – that the cover of Leslie Ann Butler’s “ If Your Hair Falls Out, Keep Dancing!” is so cheerful looking and so attractive. Looking at the cover illustration one cannot help but feel joyful and uplifted; having said that, I need to add that the author’s artwork, included throughout the book, lends a similar upbeat, positive tone to the entire book and makes it visually extremely appealing.

Leslie Ann Butler wrote a tremendously important and impactful book for people suffering from the auto-immune disorder called alopecia areata, which affects nearly five million people in USA. Having been affected herself – and with the most severe form of it, leading her to lose all of her hair everywhere – she is in the position to be not only highly informative, but also highly personal and compassionate in her writing. The book stays upbeat, giving hope - but not false hope!   She offers advice for just about any “sticky” situation a person with alopecia areata might find her- or himself in.

The opening chapters deal with the facts about this immune disorder – what it is, what could possibly cause it (nobody really knows…) and what could help alleviate it. Later chapters deal with the day-to-day living with alopecia areata – when and whom to tell about it, how to deal with your hair loss in different “extreme” situations (think sports and sex…), how to travel with wigs, how to choose the right wig and how to deal with loss of eyebrows and eyelashes as well as what your options are in such situations.

The last few chapters, while still practical, really deal with this condition from the psychological perspective, helping one accept the hair loss and coping with it in a positive fashion, as well as even finding some positive aspects in it. No more bad hair days, anybody? How about not having to pluck those pesky stray facial hairs ever again?

The Resources section at the very end of the book should prove to be an invaluable selection of contact information for both the general information about the disorder and sources for wigs and other items the alopecia areata sufferers might need or want.

Warm, upbeat, but first and foremost realistic and informative, “If Your Hair Falls Out, Keep Dancing!” by Leslie Ann Butler, would benefit anybody with alopecia areata or anybody who in any way cares for or about somebody with it. Gorgeous illustrations turn it into a work of art and the written part turns it into a very valuable resource and a deeply wise work.

If Your Hair Falls Out, Keep Dancing!
Leslie Ann Butler
Nightengale Press (2008)
ISBN 9781933449586
Reviewed by Olivera Baumgartner-Jackson for Reader Views (6/08) 

What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky, Uncomfortable Situations

“What Should I Say?” is a practical guide to help people recognize what are and what are not appropriate things to say to someone who is experiencing a difficult situation.  The author covers a myriad of subjects including: death, illness, financial difficulties, and couples having difficulty conceiving a child.  She stresses that it is not only what you say but the tone in which you say it that will truly impart your feelings.  Speaking firmly and with confidence will make what you say more believable to the listener.

Many suggested responses can be applied to most situations so it is not as if you need to memorize a list of appropriate responses for several different situations.  Focus on those that you are comfortable saying and modify them as the varying circumstances for each situation dictate.  Burke also discusses the importance of not trying to force your opinions or advice on people.  Rather, you should let them know you are there for them if they need your support.

Burke also gives advice on how to handle people who are offering to help you.  She emphasizes the importance of being gracious for the offered assistance.  However, she also states it is okay to politely tell people that you do not want to discuss the particulars of your situation.

I gained a great deal of practical knowledge from reading this book.  I often do not say anything when others are troubled, not because I don't care, but because I am afraid to say the wrong thing.  I now feel more confident that I can appropriately express my concern while not worrying that I will add to someone’s pain.

“What Should I Say?” is an excellent aid for people who are often at a loss for what to say when confronted with a difficult situation.  Everyone who is above the age of eighteen should read this book.  Having the knowledge of how to best respond to other people’s problems will not only prevent hurt feelings, but will help build stronger relationships.  At the end of the book are two lists: 10 Best Things and 10 Worst Things to Say in Any Situation.  Learning the items on these lists will be a monumental asset the next time you find yourself unsure of what to say.

What Should I Say?
Shelly Burke, RN
Xulon Press (2007)
ISBN 9781602666825
Reviewed by Leslie Granier for Reader Views (6/08)

C’ing Your Way Clear: Every Woman’s Guide to Handling Life’s Storms

“C’ing Your Way Clear” by Toya L. Evans is a self-help book targeting the female population; more specifically women who are facing any kind of a challenge in their lives. It is narrated through a series of stories, told by everyday women, who faced very diverse challenges and managed to overcome them. Toya L. Evans distills those stories into “lessons learned” and provides the reader with “exercise for the day,” showing the path to resolution.

Showing the reader how to realize the immense power that God has over us and the potential to help us if we want, Ms. Evans explains that we should and could not live in fear if we want to overcome whatever challenges are thrown into our paths. She shows how one can overcome just about anything by creating a plan and following it, while never forgetting the gratitude for all of the wondrous gifts given to us.

While I found certain of the stories really uplifting, others left me pretty cold and I just could not relate to some of the choices that were made by some of the narrators. I also did not have any “aha” moments while reading this book. Although the advice is perfectly competent and reasonable, I did not feel that I’ve learned anything new from “C’ing Your Way Clear” nor gained any particularly amazing insights. Everything I’ve read there is either something I’ve been doing all along or something I’ve read about in a good few other self-help books before.

There is no doubt in my mind that “C’ing Your Way Clear” will be helpful to some individuals, and as I stated previously, I found the advice competent and reasonable. This is definitely a book geared more towards Christian population, and those with strong religious beliefs in general, although the plan outlined in it could be followed by just about anybody who truly desires to find a solution for trials and tribulations they find themselves in.

C’ing Your Way Clear
Toya L. Evans
Haci Publishing (2007)
ISBN 9780979447501
Reviewed by Olivera Baumgartner-Jackson for Reader Views (6/08)

The 3:00 PM Secret: Live Slim and Strong, Live Your Dreams

In today’s world it is becoming more and more important what kind of an image we present to those around us. The trend to be youthful looking, fit and trim is something that we are bombarded with from all sides and it seems that only those conforming to such images will and should be happy. Books and programs for getting in shape abound these days and it feels like every day there is a new miracle diet, wonder workout or secret ingredient to consider.

Debra Anne Ross Lawrence’s “The 3:00 PM Secret” carries a hefty subtitle, proclaiming “Live Slim and Strong” and “Live Your Dreams.” The implication of those two statements linked would likely be what I referred to earlier – that only those who are slim are destined to be happy and attain their dreams. While life certainly is more fun when one can move around more easily, I happen to know quite a few people who are far from reed thin, yet they are happy, content and successful individuals.  Having said that, I have to admit that the principles for healthy life outlined in “The 3:00 PM Secret” actually sound reasonable, doable and attainable.

Debra Anne Ross Lawrence focuses on the way digestion works in our systems and proposes a shift in eating patterns, establishing several days without food intake after 3 p.m. She couples this with very sound nutritional advice, a realistic workout plan and overall sound advice on living and aging well. One of the points she stresses throughout her book is the fact that you need to communicate with your doctor before undergoing any radical changes in your lifestyle, especially if you suffer from any ailments or illnesses.

Overall I have found her approach to weight loss interesting and reasonable, especially parts dealing with sensible food intake and regular, yet not life-consuming exercise. There is a lot of valuable information compiled within Debra Anne Ross Lawrence’s “The 3:00 PM Secret” which could and should be used to your advantage, particularly if you decide to focus even more on the ‘strong’ than on the ‘slim’ part.

The 3:00 PM Secret
Debra Anne Ross Lawrence
GlacierDog Publishing (2007)
ISBN 9780979745904
Reviewed by Olivera Baumgartner-Jackson for Reader Views (6/08)