Reader Views

C’ing Your Way Clear: Every Woman’s Guide to Handling Life’s Storms

“C’ing Your Way Clear” by Toya L. Evans is a self-help book targeting the female population; more specifically women who are facing any kind of a challenge in their lives. It is narrated through a series of stories, told by everyday women, who faced very diverse challenges and managed to overcome them. Toya L. Evans distills those stories into “lessons learned” and provides the reader with “exercise for the day,” showing the path to resolution.

Showing the reader how to realize the immense power that God has over us and the potential to help us if we want, Ms. Evans explains that we should and could not live in fear if we want to overcome whatever challenges are thrown into our paths. She shows how one can overcome just about anything by creating a plan and following it, while never forgetting the gratitude for all of the wondrous gifts given to us.

While I found certain of the stories really uplifting, others left me pretty cold and I just could not relate to some of the choices that were made by some of the narrators. I also did not have any “aha” moments while reading this book. Although the advice is perfectly competent and reasonable, I did not feel that I’ve learned anything new from “C’ing Your Way Clear” nor gained any particularly amazing insights. Everything I’ve read there is either something I’ve been doing all along or something I’ve read about in a good few other self-help books before.

There is no doubt in my mind that “C’ing Your Way Clear” will be helpful to some individuals, and as I stated previously, I found the advice competent and reasonable. This is definitely a book geared more towards Christian population, and those with strong religious beliefs in general, although the plan outlined in it could be followed by just about anybody who truly desires to find a solution for trials and tribulations they find themselves in.

C’ing Your Way Clear
Toya L. Evans
Haci Publishing (2007)
ISBN 9780979447501
Reviewed by Olivera Baumgartner-Jackson for Reader Views (6/08)

The 3:00 PM Secret: Live Slim and Strong, Live Your Dreams

In today’s world it is becoming more and more important what kind of an image we present to those around us. The trend to be youthful looking, fit and trim is something that we are bombarded with from all sides and it seems that only those conforming to such images will and should be happy. Books and programs for getting in shape abound these days and it feels like every day there is a new miracle diet, wonder workout or secret ingredient to consider.

Debra Anne Ross Lawrence’s “The 3:00 PM Secret” carries a hefty subtitle, proclaiming “Live Slim and Strong” and “Live Your Dreams.” The implication of those two statements linked would likely be what I referred to earlier – that only those who are slim are destined to be happy and attain their dreams. While life certainly is more fun when one can move around more easily, I happen to know quite a few people who are far from reed thin, yet they are happy, content and successful individuals.  Having said that, I have to admit that the principles for healthy life outlined in “The 3:00 PM Secret” actually sound reasonable, doable and attainable.

Debra Anne Ross Lawrence focuses on the way digestion works in our systems and proposes a shift in eating patterns, establishing several days without food intake after 3 p.m. She couples this with very sound nutritional advice, a realistic workout plan and overall sound advice on living and aging well. One of the points she stresses throughout her book is the fact that you need to communicate with your doctor before undergoing any radical changes in your lifestyle, especially if you suffer from any ailments or illnesses.

Overall I have found her approach to weight loss interesting and reasonable, especially parts dealing with sensible food intake and regular, yet not life-consuming exercise. There is a lot of valuable information compiled within Debra Anne Ross Lawrence’s “The 3:00 PM Secret” which could and should be used to your advantage, particularly if you decide to focus even more on the ‘strong’ than on the ‘slim’ part.

The 3:00 PM Secret
Debra Anne Ross Lawrence
GlacierDog Publishing (2007)
ISBN 9780979745904
Reviewed by Olivera Baumgartner-Jackson for Reader Views (6/08)

How To Be a Creative Genius (in five minutes or less)

When I began reading this book for review, I was worried I wouldn’t know how -- or even what -- exactly to write.  Statements such as “Believe that if less is more, then even less less is more more” or “believe any weird offshoot ridiculous idea from the East” really had me thrown.  By its conclusion, “How To Be A Creative Genius (in five minutes or less)” made complete sense and it was if the heavens opened with blinding sunbeams and singing angels and I got the approach, the sarcasm, and the genius that is Gary Unger. 

“How To Be A Creative Genius” is a sassy slant on creative thinking, full of reverse psychology, cynicism, and wit.  Although sprinkled with a few ‘de facto’ reality check-type paragraphs, this concise read is a quick way to get you thinking in a completely different direction.  Author Gary Unger is a renowned advertising consultant with many years of experience and plenty of creatively successful accomplishments.  He’s taken all that knowledge and expertise and crammed it into a wonderfully brief -- and entertaining -- book.  It’s like reading an Edward de Bono book with life and without all that ego. 

“How To Be A Creative Genius (in five minutes or less)” will appeal to a number of audiences.  First and foremost, it’s designed to get your brain out of its rut so it could potentially be used for a myriad of projects or job ventures.  From improving a work process to designing the newest ‘latest and greatest’ product, Gary Unger will wake up those groggy synapses while tickling your funny bone.  Another possibly for this book is simply as a gift.  With its catchy title and heaping doses of sarcasm, “How To Be A Creative Genius (in five minutes or less),” is a lightning fast read and a great conversation-starter, making it an amusing addition to the office or coffee table. 

If you are looking for a serious read on creative thinking, author Gary Unger will playfully slap you silly with his new book, “How To Be a Creative Genius (in five minutes or less).”  Whether it’s a ‘genius’ take on health (“Ascribe to the theory that coffee and a doughnut make a meal”) or mentality (“Don’t do anything about your neurosis…Not neurotic?  Fake some type of neurosis”), Unger will have you belly laughing and then saying, “…what?”

How To Be a Creative Genius (in five minutes or less)
Gary Unger
Sherian Publishing (2008)
ISBN 9780979567629
Reviewed by Vicki Landes for Reader Views (5/08)

Simplify: 106 ways to uncomplicate your life

Has there been one day in your life where you knew if you could just get things together, your life would be much better? Has there been more than one? If you are like most of us, the answer would be a resounding YES! In this case, this book is for you. If you have never experienced the need to simplify and uncomplicate your life, you can stop now, as this book is not for you. Borthwick writes, “Lack of focus often manifests itself in multi-tasking that results in unfinished projects.” I never thought this was true for me until his words caused me to think more about it. He was right. I began thinking about what I needed to do to make things happen, to tend to the more important things in my life and found that I would have more time and focus if I let go of some things that I really didn’t need or want to do.

“Simplify” is a small book that is laid out in short chapters around topics that look at determining whether you need or want something, staying fit, how to spend your downtime, and much more. The book has many references to Biblical principles and a resource appendix. With 106 different topics, you can choose to read one a day, two a week, or even one a week, or you can do as I did and read the entire book, highlight the ones you need to concentrate on and re-read them as needed.

Borthwick reminds us to remember that our life is not the norm for others, and that we should make decisions about how our life goes. We cannot depend on someone else to do so. He shares that “God’s priorities for us are summarized in Micah 6:8. What does God want from us? To act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God.” When we begin to look at our lives through this test, we will begin to live with moderation in all things. “Simplify” is highly recommended reading for those of us who have at any time felt like we lost control of some of the important things in life and want a simpler, better life.

Simplify
Paul Borthwick
Authentic (2007)
ISBN 9781934068014
Reviewed by Cathy Yanda for Reader Views (5/08)

What Will Set You Free

Cynthia James has given readers the chance to make a positive change in their life through her own stories, practical exercises, journaling and a wonderful meditation CD.

It has been a while since this reader has read a book so compelling, one that gives advice you can use right that moment and one so caring. Each chapter is filled with stories of her own life of abuse, neglect, finding the wrong relationships and trying to find who she really is. Don’t we all do that?  Many of us have been harboring secrets for most of our life and can’t figure out why we aren’t happy.

“What Will Set You Free” gives clear understanding of how we sabotage our goals and ourselves. We continually play the victim and blame others. Ms. James teaches us how to stop doing the negatives and focus on the positives we have with such exercises as:  writing your story- word for word, making no changes. She asks, “Does your story drain you and make you fatigued?” Then follows with after reading your story ask yourself “Do you want to let go of the story and move on.”

As a psychologist I have read many self-help books, but none show this amount of enthusiasm or sincerity in helping you make a change in seven weeks. This is a book that I would recommend my students in my “Children and Violence” class to read and re-read. Even if we have taught ourselves to believe that we have had a perfect life, Ms. James will help you realize that there is no “perfect” life-- we all have issues, but you don’t have to let them rule. “What Will Set You Free” is a very incredible read.

What Will Set You Free
Cynthia James
Thornton Publishing (2007)
ISBN 9780977476183
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer for Readers View (5/08)

FrameShifting

One month ago, while praying, I decided to surrender certain aspects of my life that I felt I had no control over.  Things started to get easier for me.  Yesterday afternoon I realized that I was doing better, so I decided to surrender more aspects of my life I felt I wanted to lose control of.  This is not easy to do, but it is easier once it is done.  Then last night I picked up “FrameShifting: A Path to Wholeness.” The timing was perfect; of course.

In “FrameShifting,” Dr. Banner shares his personal journey of self-exploration with us.  He tells about the tools that he used that were valuable to him.  This is what makes the book so interesting.  Even though we all have our own stories and paradigms from which we view our lives, many of the tools to help us overcome our egos can be shared by all.  It is our egos that seem to hold us bound in fear.  Our false ego identity keeps us separate.  Our ego uses fear to control us.  I found it interesting to read what the ego really fears is the death of itself.  If we overcome our egos, we find our True Self, which is connected to everything. 

Dr. Banner states, “…one of the main messages of this book is, that, to gain real happiness, the ego must be transcended and an identity in Spirit must be experientially realized.”  One of the main tools he used on his journey is Enneagram work.  This is a method of self-inquiry.  This is not something I have used for myself, but I can definitely see the benefits of using it.  He also cites the works of many remarkable people.  It was interesting to see how the work of some of my favorite guides, such as Don Miguel Ruiz, affected Dr. Banner’s thought processes and aided his journey.  Making a list from his references, I also have a new group of works to explore.

Dr. Banner writes “FrameShifting” in a way that is interesting and easy to read, yet he still imparts a tremendous amount of knowledge and research to the reader.  The book will draw you in, teach you, and yet not overwhelm you with intellectual verbosity.  Dr. Banner states, “The goal of FrameShifting, if there is one, is to become more and more empathetic, consciously aware of ourselves and others, and to “’live deliberately.’”  I really liked the emphasis on how helping ourselves helps others. It does not promote a selfish, retreat into yourself type of journey. This is an awesome book and I am so happy to have discovered it when I did.

FrameShifting
David K. Banner, PhD
Loving Healing Press (2008)
ISBN 9781932690552
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (6/08)

The Power of Emotional Decision Making: Using Your God-Given Emotions for Positive Change

When I first approached this book I had hoped to liberate my own emotional resolve. Yet, it appeared to me as a Christian approach to understanding our emotional selves. The author uses scripture and the word of God to express how God feels about our own emotions as we relate to each other and to Him. The author is skilled at influencing the thoughts of the reader to come to God and name their emotions as individuals work on relationships.

This book is excellent for people who are active in the Christian community. This is also an excellent book for people who are seeking Christ to help solve their emotional states. This book helps identify emotions as people name them to uncover the deeper roots of their emotional situations. The writing of the author and the theology he uses to help the reader understand their emotions was very easy-to-understand.

I would say that this might be a difficult read for those who have issues with Christianity, as something that their parents might have failed to preach wisely. Yet, the voice of the author is heartfelt and caring about traditional relationships that are the practice of the Christian faith. The book has a strong sense of moral in dealing with the emotional selves that desire healthy relationships.

Unfortunately, I did not find that the book served the needs of gay and lesbian relationships, or how Jesus and God might address the emotions of those individuals that might prefer a new-age approach to emotional analysis. Or perhaps those that are not religious, or those that are from a different culture.

This is an excellent self-help book for people who have or need to have the traditional values of their religious life reinforced into their life. Yet in reading this book, I was disappointed to find nothing relevant to the emotional lives of the gay community, or the diverse culture of our collective emotions. For this reason the author did not lead me to the voice of God as a loving and emotional concept in the heart of my own inner voice as I searched for something relevant to my own personal growth in our society.

In any form of psychiatric practice, as we evaluate our emotional minds, love and healing should take a broad approach to the many walks of life that comprise the human being. I initially wanted to review the topic, but I was disappointed to find that the material was only relative to Christianity, or those that wished to reunite with Christ. This book was not relevant to the emotional scars of other cultures, or those that are touched with homosexuality in their desire to be considered as people who also experience a broad range of emotions within their relationships. Our religious beliefs are very diverse, and much to complex to narrow our emotional world to the world of Christianity. If the practice of psychiatry wishes to truly reach enlightenment, doctors should acknowledge the fact that their clients comes from all walks of life. Simply stating our emotional health from the view of the Bible only serves those who have an understanding of Christianity.

I would like to end the review on a positive note that will attract the audience Doctor Hawkins is looking for. I suggest that young members of our society who have emotional problems and questions concerning the roots of their religious foundation in life should read this book. Christians who have deviated from the heart of their original life in Christ as they feel lost without the myth of his life will benefit from Doctor Hawkins wisdom. Even Christians who simply need a moral reminder about ways to deal with their emotions should read this book. We all need to serve the foundation of our heart. If your heart is in Christ and the traditional view of the Bible, then the words of this book will speak to you. I gave “The Power of Emotional Decision Making” five stars as it will speak to the right audience. 

The Power of Emotional Decision Making
Dr. David Hawkins
Harvest House Publishers (2008)
ISBN 9780736921428
Reviewed by Jon David Gemma for Reader Views (5/08)

Repair Your Life: A Program for Recovery from Incest & Childhood Sexual Abuse

“Repair Your Life” offers victims of incest and childhood sexual abuse the tools to help them overcome the shame and trauma that they encountered as children. It teaches you how to become the person that you were meant to be. So many survivors of abuse get trapped in non-ending cycles of being in unhealthy relationships, having addictions and making poor choices. Often the children of these survivors become victims.

Ms. McKinnon has developed a six-stage program called REPAIR. It stands for: Recognition, Entry, Process, Awareness, Insight, Rhythm, and Post-Recovery. She dedicates a chapter to each stage and offers some writing exercises to go along with them. By going through this process you will be able to transform yourself from a victim into a survivor. She teaches you to be aware of how the abuse is affecting you as an adult. She tells her own personal story. I felt very grateful that she shared so much of herself because no one reading this book will be able to tell her, “But you don’t understand.” She clearly does and by overcoming her abuse, she sets an example to the rest of the world. Incest and childhood sexual abuse survivors can be whole, healthy and happy.

“Repair Your Life” has a holistic approach to recovery. Going beyond the six stages for recovery, Ms. McKinnon also discusses how to be healthy and whole -- things that victims are not taught. This includes learning how to set boundaries, and take care of your health. She reminds us that we are special and that we need to honor our bodies with healthy care.

The whole book really impressed me; however, there were two things that really had a personal effect on me. The first thing was her discussion of shame. Incest survivors tend to get trapped in feelings of guilt and shame. She makes it clear that the abuse was not their fault and that the blame should be placed where it belongs which is on the abuser’s shoulders, even if they were victims themselves. It is amazing how much damage carrying around a lifetime of shame can do to someone’s soul. The other thing that stood out to me was that she said that predators look for obedient children. So many people that I know that have been abused have had other predators seek them out. This makes the victim feel like they are marked with something that tells the world that they deserved to be molested. I have heard this expressed many times. When Ms. McKinnon mentions that predators look for obedient children, it answered that question for me. They look for children that look like they will do what they are told. That makes much sense, and it lets the survivor know that they didn’t have something “written on their back” identifying them as deserving to be abused.

“Repair Your Life” is a must read for all survivors of sexual abuse. It should also be read by friends and family members close to the survivor. Counselors will also greatly benefit from the book. “Repair Your Life” will give you tools and resources to help you on your journey of recovery.

Repair Your Life: A Program for Recovery from Incest & Childhood Sexual Abuse
Marjorie McKinnon
Loving Healing Press (2008)
ISBN 9781932690521
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (4/08)

The Mental Environment (Mostly about Mind Pollution)

The author Bob Gebelein defines mind pollution as “…any thought, idea, fiction, hypnotic suggestion, judgment, etc. – any mental input – that makes one’s view of reality less accurate.” The author extensively discusses these inaccuracies. He uses both research and his own personal experiences to delve deeply into the subject. He feels that mind pollution is mainly created by “social manipulation.” We are conditioned to believe that if we don’t think as others, we won’t belong. Normative pressures influence us to feel the need to fit in with the norm. Ridicule is used extensively by society to keep people at a level where our culture feels they belong. This can be erroneous and limiting to one’s personal growth. He sees our cultural as currently being heavily influenced by three areas: religion, academia, and the New Age Movement. He uses examples of the New Age Movement from the Course in Miracles.

Gebelein started contemplating his own personal experience at age nine. In “The Mental Environment,” he discusses the paths that he took to find answers. This included extensive sessions in psychotherapy. He also discusses dream analysis and hypnotism. The information that he provides outside of his own personal experience is referenced. This material is very deep and complex. I found that his candid personal experiences helped bring more meaning to the material and make it easier to understand.

Gebelein discovered that sometimes it is necessary to spend time in solitude so that we can free our minds of the pollution that comes in from outside sources. He relates a personal experience that he had. He also refers to Thoreau’s experience at Walden Pond. Solitude without the influence of cultural input helps a person to truly be able to hear and think for himself. The more aware that we become about how our mental environment influences us, then the more we can work on freeing ourselves.

I found the information presented in “The Mental Environment” to be profoundly true. I do not like knowing that my outside environment has so much influence over my inside environment. This is something that I had already been contemplating on my own. The media does a wonderful job of manipulating me and my friends into buying expensive products that we really don’t need, just so we can fit in. I need to take more stock in my life to decide what I really think I need to be content vs. what the outside world is trying to convince me I need. If nothing else can convince me that I need to make some changes, it is the thought that I am being manipulated and controlled by forces outside myself. It’s time for me to shut off the TV, cancel the magazine subscriptions and just sit down and breathe deeply. This is a book that should not be missed. When you read “The Mental Environment” and see the intrinsic value that it holds, you will want those close to you to read it as well so that you can share in the changes that you will ultimately want to make in your life. Kind of ‘Mind Controllish’ sounding, but this time the choices will be coming from within you.

The Mental Environment (Mostly about Mind Pollution)
Bob Gebelein
Omdega Press (2007)
ISBN 9780961461119
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views

Am I Bad?: Recovering from Abuse

"It's all your fault! You brought this on yourself! If you would have done something different, this wouldn't have happened to you!" Ah yes, these are things an abuse victim may hear. Or they may simply believe. Do you know someone who has been abused? Perhaps it was a close friend or family member. Or maybe it was you yourself who was abused a year or many years ago and you are still dealing with the effects of it all. Your natural reaction, when something like this happens to you, is to blame yourself. Traumatized people often find themselves abusing alcohol, drugs or others but there is something much less destructive.

Heyward Bruce Ewart has created the book "Am I Bad?" to help victims, parents and therapists. There are various tests included in this book which can help determine whether the victim is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There is a test for concealed child abuse and a domestic violence inventory questionnaire throughout its pages, descriptions of what effects the abuse has taken and how you can break free. This book is not meant to take over the work of a qualified therapist, but to help therapists and those dealing with abused people.

No two cases are exactly alike. What happened in one case didn't happen quite the same in another. Just like each victim may react differently in dealing with what happened to them. “Am I Bad?” is an excellent resource!

Am I Bad?: Recovering from Abuse
Heyward Bruce Ewart III
Loving Healing Press (2007)
ISBN 9781932690354
Reviewed by Lori Plach for Reader Views