Irene Watson - Rewriting Life Scripts

The Sitting Swing - Book Review by John Royce

Irene Watson is an important figure in independent publishing and an innovator in creating important services to assist new authors, and I approached her new book as an autobiography of someone I admire. "The Sitting Swing" does not disappoint, and the vivid storytelling description of Irene's childhood and later recovery are a delightful surprise.

The book opens in epic fashion with Irene in action, settling into a 28-day recovery program at a facility called Avalon. The interior monologue that is to narrate the story shines out boldly in the first statement, "It was the damnedest thing they thought I'd fall for it." There are many places in the book where I was struck by a raw statement of honesty in Mrs. Watson's reactions to her world, and this opener sets the stage.

The first chapters relate the reasons Irene has come to Avalon, but the story takes flight with the flashback to Irene's past. Mrs. Watson is a true storyteller and takes the readers in hand to see her family and childhood home in emotional color. The descriptions of the hardships lived by her grandparents and parents are poignant and illuminating, and the honest appraisal gives testimony to the healing recounted in the rest of the book.

There is page-turning brilliance in the scenes Irene gives the reader from her past. The descriptions of the Sitting Swing—so named because it cannot swing, and so cannot cause injury—impart not only the sights and smells of the yard where Irene sat stationary before her mother's window, but the confinement and restriction it represented. A life is served before us, one that holds a full measure of the pain life can bring even a child, but is told in a way that invites the reader to reflect on our own individual yet common struggles.

Mrs. Watson reveals the soul of a writer as she makes an engaging and compelling story out of her journey to recovery. This is the heart of the work, and unusual in a book about recovery as such artfulness is rare and difficult, and yet Irene's skillful expression allows the reader to see our own experiences in hers, not by indicating, not by telling, but by bringing the reader along her path to see for themselves.

There is a division in the book when the narrative returns to the present: after the rich detail and nostalgic tones of the flashback scenes there is a jolt to the present. This is the nature of the book: it entertains and surprises as it teaches. Irene doesn't pull any punches in the final scenes describing the showdowns and breakthroughs at Avalon, but the urgency is fading, the lights are coming up, the resolution is at hand.

We all walk our own path, and Irene doesn't offer prescriptions or pat answers. Reflections and truths discovered, yes, but there is not a moralizing word to be found here. It is a fantastic achievement to put in moving words the story of one's journey and to do it in a way that reaches out to others. The hope it offers is not sugar-coated or facile, it is the quiet testimony of a way to healing. Highly recommended.

John Royce is the author of Eclipsed by Shadow (The Legend of the Great Horse - Book I of III)

Review of "The Sitting Swing: Finding Wisdom to Know the Difference"

Wow! Irene Watson you must have been living in my house! A truly tremendous memoir of being raised by immigrant parents in an era where the "eye" gave you the discipline rules. Irene takes us through her life from childhood to adulthood being raised by the "old rules." In a life that didn’t include saying "I love you" or hugs, kisses and resulted in a woman who was ruled by taking care of others.

I the reader lived the same life being brought up by a mother from England- my mom, as Irene’s didn’t have to say a word- she showed it through body language. We were to be perfect- dad was the breadwinner and didn’t participate in parenting. Irene’s thoughts about how she would always show she was perfect led with much disappointment by her critical parents. Struggling for their lifestyle- moving around and never being able to develop those social skills- oh- what a life we led.

As an adult, Irene struggled with who she was and whom she was going to rescue. Co-dependency in all of us. We always strive to save others before ourselves. She finally went to a treatment center, which most of us in the helping field attended. They built you up and tore you down. I had vivid memories of my own time in treatment as a developing counselor when I read this account. You think you are helping and then you ended up questioning your own existence. Unlike Irene I wasn’t married at the time, but I have questioned my marriage as she did- how much can we do?

As a psychologist and college professor this is a book I have recommended to all for their library- we think we are infallible but we all have hidden ghosts- even as therapists.

Irene you could be my sister- you have truly given me the ability to see how my childhood not only directed my profession- but also made me really look at who I am. I have read, cried, vowed to change and feel completely at peace after reading this. You are my angel.

Carol Hoyer

PhD,  Family Psychology

Book review from Rebecca's Reads - The Sitting Swing: Finding Wisdom to Know the Difference

The Sitting Swing: Finding Wisdom to Know the Difference
Irene Watson
Loving Healing Press (2008)
ISBN 9781932690675
Reviewed by Kam Aures for RebeccasReads.com (8/08)
In this powerful memoir, Irene Watson shares the story of her sheltered and painful
childhood, how it shaped the person she became, and the steps she took to heal her
wounds and to change her life for the better. The book begins on day one of her twentyeight
day stint in Avalon, a recovery center. On the surface, her reason for checking into
the center was to fit in, as she had numerous friends who had graduated from the program
and raved about how it had changed their lives. Also a practicing therapist, Watson
thought that putting herself through the program would provide her with more insight
into the issues of her patients. Deep down, however, she knew that there were different
reasons for her stay.
After the introduction to Avalon, Irene presents to us the events that took place during her
childhood that molded her adult life. One of the first things that would have an impact on
her happened before she was even born and this was the birth and subsequent passing of
her brother Alexander. The death of 2 ½ month old Alexander definitely had an
influence on the way that her mother raised Irene. Although her mother really never had
a chance to know Alexander, she envisioned him as the “good child” and held Irene to
the high standards that she believed he possessed. Irene’s mother sheltered her from so
much, but failed to believe her or protect her when she was being abused by cousins and
by bullies. Irene was not allowed to think for herself as her mother pretty much dictated
whatever she did.
The story of Irene’s past continues through her marriage to her husband Bob. Then the
setting shifts again back to the Avalon center and the treatment process. We watch as
Irene delves deep into her past through a series of exercises in an effort to recreate herself
and change her and her family’s life.
I found “The Sitting Swing” to be a very honest and inspiring memoir. I applaud Irene’s
willingness to share with us her journey, and I think that everyone reading this book will
be able to take something away from it. As a parent to two young boys, her issues with
her mother opened my eyes to a lot of things. I learned to not be too overprotective of
my children, to be sure to listen to them, and to be honest when explaining things to
them.
Irene’s style of writing draws you in from the first page and the book flows smoothly
until the last page is turned. She is an extremely talented writer and her experiences are
very touching. The last half of the last chapter even gave me goose bumps. I highly
recommend “The Sitting Swing;” Irene’s words are so real that you cannot help but to be
inspired by her journey.

Rebecca's Reads

November 20, 2005

Rebecca Brown, Rebecca's Reads

Until she faces her past a therapist can go no further in her work to help others.

The Sitting Swing is a memoir which begins at the end, in a recovery center, where Irene Watson has gone to “understand”. What, she's not quite sure. After all, she's a highly successful dynamo, with all the accoutrements of the child of immigrants dreams: career, home, family, friends.

She's also decided she knows it all, & no one could tell her anything new. & yet... now she's arrived, everso reluctantly & defensively at this month-long, sequestered seminar, in a “utopian little institute” which all her friends “swore [had] changed their lives.” She'd become tired of them all yakking on in “Avalon talk”, had plunked-down good money & here she was kicking & screaming on the inside, hunting for every flaw in everyone she meets, & taking great delight in outwitting “them”, first by covering up the surveillance camera in her room.

Born into a tight-knit, Ukrainian-speaking community & a family beaten down by guilt, shame & grief over the death of their first born son, Irene's world was smothered by old world immigrant culture & blame, & of her mother who kept Irene close to home, segregated from the new culture, & the target of aggression by male cousins, & scornful townspeople.

The Sitting Swing was a rope, hung from a tree next to the tiny cottage her Russian immigrant father built from hand-milled logs & mud in Northern Canada. Any motion at all would smash you into a thorny rose bush. It was a place of play in a family which didn't know how to play. & Irene Watson's childhood swung back & forth between the old & the new.

The Sitting Swing is a lively & frank record of one person's adventure into the realm of self-discovery, memories, responsibility for one's own life & the art of taking it back. Taking it back from forgotten childhood events & lessons that unconsciously drive us into deadends, into rages, into obsessions with control, into immoderate use of drugs & drink -- anything to soothe those dreadful pangs of helplessness, insatiability & the fear of a boring & empty future.

As Dr. Jan Ford Mustin says in the Forward (sic): “Through telling our story each of us learns to sort out appearances from reality, our persona or false self from our true identity. It is in storytelling that we uncover the true meanings of the metaphors that our lives have pieced together in a sort of hieroglyphic code of human events, joys and sorrows, laughter and pain, beauty and despair... Irene Watson generously and artfully invites the reader to experience the stories of her life in order to decode their own.” (p.3)

A simply told passionate telling of one person's wrestle with reality, & the consequences of her behavior patterns. & while it's in dire need of a copy editor, it rang all my bells. As an est graduate myself, as well as a sometime user of more usual psychotherapy methods, I love a good internal adventure, complete with a life-changing “Ahha!” &, by the way, The Sitting Swing would never have been written had the author not had that “Ahha!”

TMC Reviews

November 3, 2005

Tami Brady, TMC Reviews

As human beings we tend to pattern our lives in very particular ways. We hold onto pain from our past creating cycles of behavior that colors everything we do, our attitudes about life, and our image of ourselves. We create strategies that serve as walls to block out the feelings of our deep pain. These strategies in turn become our prison assuring that we never escape our bonds.

The Sitting Swing looks at one woman’s life as she seeks to escape these bonds and deal with her pain. This story follows the author as she is checked into an addiction treatment center for a 28 day period. In this account, she openly admits that she couldn’t see her addiction. At one point, she states, “I felt sorry for them, but was grateful not to be among their ranks.” Moreover, the author shares her initial plan of providing a good show, shedding a few tears, and then continuing her life as normal.

I enjoyed this book for two main reasons. I respected the author’s openness and willingness to share her entire story, not just the parts of her experience that might make her look healthy and put together. I believe this aspect of the book will help many people realize that they are not alone in their pain, confusion, and stubbornness.

The second aspect of the book that I really liked was that the book did not really focus on the particulars of the author’s addiction. Instead, the story looked at addiction as an underlying behavior that manifests as habitual patterns. One of the characters in this book even notes that we all create unhealthy patterns that we habitually follow believing that we can hide from our pain but that the only true way to release this pain is to feel it.