Codependency: How to Release Yourself From Your Own “Ties That Bind”

Those individuals that have codependent behavior patterns know all too well that their sense of caring will, if it hasn’t already, become compulsive while possibly leading to chronic emotionally draining relationships.  These kinds of emotionally draining relationships usually leave the codependent person feeling angry, resentful and unappreciated.

One of the foundations of belief regarding codependent behavior is that the codependent individual is trying to avoid dealing with their own difficult emotions. This can leave the individual feeling disconnected from their own needs and wants while struggling with trusting others.

First thing to know is that you can change these relationship patterns in your life.  Many people benefit greatly from joining a support group, such as the 12-Step program, AlAnon, which focuses on codependency behavior patterns.  Also, many people who have codependent behavior patterns find themselves using alcohol or drugs or other risky behaviors in order to escape facing their own feelings.  A person can join any of the 12-step support programs and get some understanding and support.  Several people have found Alcoholics Anonymous very helpful, even if their primary addiction is to codependent behavior patterns. 

Some individuals prefer to seek non-group setting for support in addressing codependent behaviors.  There are several types of psychotherapy, such as cognitive behavior therapy and/or family therapy that has been helpful to many people in guiding them through the difficult changes they faces while addressing codependent behavior patterns.

Some people are unsure if they are “just being kind” or if they are dealing with codependency and seeking acceptance from others, regardless of the toll on themselves.  If you find yourself constantly doing for another person, even when you don't want to, or shouldn't, for your own welfare, but you still do it, then you might want to check in with yourself about how you actually feel while doing these things.

When you are thinking about how much you give and how you feel about it, remember that children are entitled to get much more than they give, and they should be getting an abundance of your “giving” even when you don’t feel like it!

You can make a change in how you perceive your life and shifting your perceptions will ultimately lead to changes in your behavior. If you decide to change, give people warning, as they will have a difficult time with the “new you.”

Today, practice saying "no" to little things with people you trust and take note to how it makes you feel.  

Comments

[family therapy]

I recently came across your blog and have been reading about family therapy. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.